Jokes of the Day

[Bloed_lus]

BULLS

I'm lost... can someone explain what he means?

[Thor_23]

BULLS

I'm lost... can someone explain what he means?

the bulls lost on Sat and apparently played very poor (which makes them a joke) especially if you are a sharks supporter(which I am)

[Bloed_lus]

Uh, ok! LOL, I don't watch rugby at all and I never know when there's a match. If I watch too much of it, I get

[Voetsek-Mikey]

For those of you that know the Glasgow patter.... http://www.chunkideas.com/snowball/

[gr@v1ty]

For those of you that know the Glasgow patter.... http://www.chunkideas.com/snowball/

Have they got an English version?

[J_Th4ng]

Not eactly a joke, but amazing pic nonetheless. The Burj Dubai, the tallest building in the world.

Crane operator required, must not be scared of heights...



[attachment deleted by admin]

[gr@v1ty]

I watched a program (big bigger biggest?) on Discovery and that building featured. Although they expect their record to be broken (there is already another building under way in Singapore which should exceed this one) they are pleased that it would be the tallest building in the world when completed. Its 4 times taller than the Empire State building. WOW!

[s3xy_j0nny]

Tower of Babel deja vu..?

[flycatchr]

and AFAIK God didnt promise anything after he wacked the peeps that built the tower of Babel, unlike the flood

[gr@v1ty]

To those of us who have children in our lives;
grandchildren,
nieces,
nephews,
or students...

Whenever your children are out of control,
you can take comfort from the thought that
even God's omnipotence did not extend
to His own children.

After creating heaven and earth,
God created Adam and Eve.

And the first thing he said was
' DON'T !'

'Don 't what ? '
Adam replied.

'Don't eat the forbidden fruit.'
God said.

'Forbidden fruit ?
We have forbidden fruit ?
Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit ! '



' No Way ! '
'Yes way ! '

'Do NOT eat the fruit ! '
said God.

'Why ? '

'Because I am your Father and I said so ! '
God replied,
wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants

A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break
and He was ticked !

'Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit? '
God asked.

'Uh huh,'
Adam replied.

'Then why did you ? '
said the Father.

'I don't know,'
said Eve.

'She started it! '
Adam said.

'Did not ! '
'Did too ! '
'DID NOT ! '

Having had it with the two of them,
God's punishment was that Adam and Eve
should have children of their own.
Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.

If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it,
don't be hard on yourself.

If God had trouble raising children,
what makes you think it would be
a piece of cake for you ?

THINGS TO THINK ABOUT !

1. You spend the first two years of their life
teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend
the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.

2. Grandchildren are God's reward
for not killing your own children.

3. Mothers of teens now know why
some animals eat their young.

4. Children seldom misquote you.
In fact, they usually repeat word for word
what you shouldn't have said

5. The main purpose of holding children's parties
is to remind yourself that there are children
more awful than your own

6. We childproofed our homes,
but they are still getting in.

ADVICE FOR THE DAY:

Be nice to your kids.
They will choose your
nursing home one day

AND FINALLY:

IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION
AND YOU GET A HEADACHE,
DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:


'TAKE TWO ASPIRIN'


AND 'KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN'!!!!!