Jokes of the Day
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SoSheOhPathix
Re: Jokes of the Day
The one cool thing about having kids is, you get to name them whatever you like... and they have to just live with it
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NiteShade
- Senior Member
- Posts: 2486
- Joined: Fri Oct 06, 2006 7:03 pm
- Location: Edenvale, Gauteng, South Africa, South Africa
Re: Jokes of the Day
*Only in America ......do drugstores make the sick walk all
the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions
while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.*
*Only in America .....do people order double cheeseburgers,
large fries, and a diet coke.**
*Only in America... do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to the
counters..*
*Only in America ......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and
put our useless junk in the garage.*
*Only in America ......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of
eight..**
*Only in America ....do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.*
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*EVER WONDER ...
*Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?*
*Why can't **women** put on mascara with their mouth closed?*
*Why don't you ever see the headline... *'Psychic Wins Lottery'?*
*Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?**
*Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?**
*Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing
liquid made with real lemons?**
*Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?**
*Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?**
*Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?**
*Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?**
*Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?**
*You know that indestructible black box that is used on
airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!**
*Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?**
*Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?**
*If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of
progress?**
*If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the
terminal?*
the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions
while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.*
*Only in America .....do people order double cheeseburgers,
large fries, and a diet coke.**
*Only in America... do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to the
counters..*
*Only in America ......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and
put our useless junk in the garage.*
*Only in America ......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of
eight..**
*Only in America ....do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.*
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*EVER WONDER ...
*Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?*
*Why can't **women** put on mascara with their mouth closed?*
*Why don't you ever see the headline... *'Psychic Wins Lottery'?*
*Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?**
*Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?**
*Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing
liquid made with real lemons?**
*Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?**
*Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?**
*Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?**
*Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?**
*Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?**
*You know that indestructible black box that is used on
airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!**
*Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?**
*Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?**
*If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of
progress?**
*If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the
terminal?*
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SoSheOhPathix
Re: Jokes of the Day
Apparently I have to write something in the post.
That should do it.
That should do it.
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SoSheOhPathix
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SoSheOhPathix
Re: Jokes of the Day
Why do Sharks swim circles around you before attacking?
Two great white sharks, swimming in the ocean, spied survivors of a sunken ship. "Follow me, son." the father shark said to the son shark and they swam to the mass of people.
"First we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fins showing." And they did.
"Well done, son! Now we swim around them a few more times with all of our fins showing." And they did.
"Now we eat everybody." And they did.
When they were both gorged, the son asked, "Dad, why didn't we just eat them all at first? Why did we swim around and around them?
His wise father replied, "Because they taste better without the shit inside!"
Two great white sharks, swimming in the ocean, spied survivors of a sunken ship. "Follow me, son." the father shark said to the son shark and they swam to the mass of people.
"First we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fins showing." And they did.
"Well done, son! Now we swim around them a few more times with all of our fins showing." And they did.
"Now we eat everybody." And they did.
When they were both gorged, the son asked, "Dad, why didn't we just eat them all at first? Why did we swim around and around them?
His wise father replied, "Because they taste better without the shit inside!"
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s3xy_j0nny
- Senior Member
- Posts: 4046
- Joined: Thu Oct 05, 2006 2:44 pm
- Contact:
Re: Jokes of the Day
LOL @ "If found, please call Paul"
From the darkness you must fall
Failed and weak, to darkness all.