The world's most inappropriate party costumes:
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Jokes of the Day
Re: Jokes of the Day
Razer0 wrote:reading posts from you guys is a daily joke
Just like when you look in the mirror?
Ha ha I make joke
-
PiRho
Re: Jokes of the Day
Is Your Jar Full?
When things in your life seem almost to much to handle, when 24 hours in a
day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar......and the beer.
A Professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front
of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and
empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then
asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.
So the Professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the
jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas
between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was
full. They agreed it was.
The Professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of
course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar
was full. The students responded with an unanimous "Yes."
The Professor then produced two cans of beer from under the table and
poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty
space between the sand. The students laughed.
"Now," said the Professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to
recognize that this jar represents your life.
The golf balls are the important things - your family, your children, your
health, your friends, your favorite passions - things that if everything
else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.
The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house,
your car. The sand is everything else - the small stuff."
"If you put the sand into the jar first", he continued, "there is no room
for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all
your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the
things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are
critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get
medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18. There
will always be time to clean the house, and fix the disposal. Take care of
the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities.
The rest is just sand."
When he had finished, there was a profound silence. Then one of the
students raised her hand and with a puzzled expression, inquired what the
beer represented.
The Professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no
matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of
beers."
When things in your life seem almost to much to handle, when 24 hours in a
day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar......and the beer.
A Professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front
of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and
empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then
asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.
So the Professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the
jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas
between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was
full. They agreed it was.
The Professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of
course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar
was full. The students responded with an unanimous "Yes."
The Professor then produced two cans of beer from under the table and
poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty
space between the sand. The students laughed.
"Now," said the Professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to
recognize that this jar represents your life.
The golf balls are the important things - your family, your children, your
health, your friends, your favorite passions - things that if everything
else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.
The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house,
your car. The sand is everything else - the small stuff."
"If you put the sand into the jar first", he continued, "there is no room
for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all
your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the
things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are
critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get
medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18. There
will always be time to clean the house, and fix the disposal. Take care of
the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities.
The rest is just sand."
When he had finished, there was a profound silence. Then one of the
students raised her hand and with a puzzled expression, inquired what the
beer represented.
The Professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no
matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of
beers."
Re: Jokes of the Day
This isn't really a joke (by really I mean not at all) but I didn't want to create a whole new thread.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QeoKQbT8BKs
Check out this vid it is and isn't scary at the same time. It is made from the view of the British, it would be interesting to see the figures in terms of S.A.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QeoKQbT8BKs
Check out this vid it is and isn't scary at the same time. It is made from the view of the British, it would be interesting to see the figures in terms of S.A.
Re: Jokes of the Day
Especially for the girls in the clan.... 
Deer Miss Rossouw,
I waunt to apply for the job what I saw in the paper. I can Type real quik wit one finggar and do sum a counting.
I think I am good on the phone and no I am a pepole person, Pepole really seam to respond to me well. Certain men and all the ladies.
Im lookin for a Jobb but it musent be to complicaited.
I no my spelling is not to good but find that I Offen can get a job thru my persinalety. My salerery is open so we can discus wat you want to pay me and wat you think that I am werth,
I can start imeditely. Thank you in advanse fore yore anser.
hopifuly Yore best aplicant so farr.
Sinseerly,
BRYAN nikname Beefy
PS : Because my resimay is a bit short - below is a pickture of me.
And my response was:.....
Dear Beefy-I mean Bryan,
It's OK honey, we've got spell check. You're hired.
Resimay
Deer Miss Rossouw,
I waunt to apply for the job what I saw in the paper. I can Type real quik wit one finggar and do sum a counting.
I think I am good on the phone and no I am a pepole person, Pepole really seam to respond to me well. Certain men and all the ladies.
Im lookin for a Jobb but it musent be to complicaited.
I no my spelling is not to good but find that I Offen can get a job thru my persinalety. My salerery is open so we can discus wat you want to pay me and wat you think that I am werth,
I can start imeditely. Thank you in advanse fore yore anser.
hopifuly Yore best aplicant so farr.
Sinseerly,
BRYAN nikname Beefy
PS : Because my resimay is a bit short - below is a pickture of me.
And my response was:.....
Dear Beefy-I mean Bryan,
It's OK honey, we've got spell check. You're hired.
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