Jokes of the Day

[NiteShade]

LOL Nice find, Scico!

[SoSheOhPathix]

Sony has announced its own computer operating system now available on its hot new portable PC called the Vaio. Instead of producing the cryptic error messages characteristic of Microsoft's Windows 95, 3.1, and DOS operating systems, Sony's chairman Asai Tawara said,
"We intend to capture the high ground by putting a human, Japanese face on what has been - until now - an operating system that reflects Western cultural hegemony.

For example, we have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft error messages with our own Japanese haiku poetry. The chairman went on to give examples of Sony's new error messages”:

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A file that big?
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.
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The Web site you seek
cannot be located but
endless others exist
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Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.
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ABORTED effort:
Close all that you have.
You ask way too much.
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Yesterday it worked
Today it is not working
Windows is like that.
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First snow, then silence.
This thousand dollar screen dies
so beautifully.
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With searching comes loss
and the presence of absence:
"My Novel" not found.
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The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao, until
You bring fresh toner.
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Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.
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Stay the patient course
Of little worth is your ire
The network is down
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A crash reduces
your expensive computer to
a simple stone.
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Three things are certain:
Death, taxes, and lost data
Guess which has occurred.
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You step in the stream,
but the water has moved on.
This page is not here.
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Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.
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Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.
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Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.

[Megageth]

I larft.

[SoSheOhPathix]

GHOST SEX

A professor at the University of Kentucky was giving a lecture on the supernatural.

To get a feel for his audience, he asks, 'How many people here believe in ghosts?'

About 90 students raise their hands.

'Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you have seen a ghost?'

About 40 students raise their hands.

'That's really good. I'm really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?'

About 15 students raise their hand.

'Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?'

Three students raise their hands.

'That's fantastic. Now let me ask you one question further....Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?'
Way in the back, Bubba raises his hand.

The professor takes off his glasses, and says 'Son, all the years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have made love to a ghost. You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience.'

The big redneck student replied with a nod and a grin, and began to make his way up to the podium.

When he reached the front of the room, the professor asks, 'So, Bubba, tell us what it's like to have sex with a ghost?'



Bubba replied, 'Shiiiit!! From way back there I thought you said Goats.

[baselineac]

HA HA LOL
this one is just for paul
http://afx-tomy.zy.dns2go.com/index.html

[SoSheOhPathix]

In case you weren't aware.
This the day Marty McFly travelled to, from 1985, in his pimped out Delorean.

So where is my hover skateboard?

[SoSheOhPathix]

Without a doubt, my all-time favourite comic strip.

[s3xy_j0nny]

THE GUIDE TO KLAPPING GYM, CHARNA!

http://slicktiger.wordpress.com/2010/02/09/the-slicktiger-guide-to-klapping-gym-boet/

THE GUIDE TO KLAPPING GYM PART 2, CHARNA!

http://slicktiger.wordpress.com/2010/05/18/the-slicktiger-guide-to-klapping-gym-boet-part-2-know-your-blonde-belter/

[SoSheOhPathix]

Playtex has launched a new bra in recognititon of SA's hosting of the 2010 soccer world cup.

They are naming it the 'Brafana Brafana'.
It has loads of support, but no cup.

[NiteShade]

For Scico:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LZJ-_OTvsqo