Jokes of the Day

[Rattex]

One day Meraai wanted to bake a cake, but she ran out of eggs. So she went
to her usual grocery store in the dorp where she lived.
As she walked in, the owner, Gatiep, was there and she asked him for a
dozen eggs.
She went back home and baked the cake.
To her surprise the eggs were rotten, so she went back to the store and
this time Gatiep wasn't there, but his wife, Sera was there.
Meraai approached the lady and said
"Weet jy, jou man het vrot eiers?"
Sera, obviously shocked and upset said "Hoe weet jy my man het vrot eiers!?"
Meraai replied, "Kom ruik my koek!

[NiteShade]

That was a good one!

[SlipperyDuck]

OMG thats rough

[gr@v1ty]

This one from the radio this morning... just letting the out-of-town guys in on it:

Harry is out hunting game on one of his Safari's. He has Gideon, a game scout, riding out ahead checking for any spoor. Suddenly Gideon stops, climbs off his horse and puts his head on the ground. Harry asks, "What is it Gideon?"
Gideon stands up and shouts back, "Buffalo come!"
Harry scans the bare veld around him, listening intently for any noise. As he cannot find any sign of movement, he asks Gideon, "How do u know?"
Gideon says, "Cause my ear! It's sticky!"

[Rattex]

[Rattex]

There is a dangerous virus being passed around electronically, orally,
and by hand.

This virus is called Weary-Overload-Recreational-Killer (WORK).

If you receive WORK from any of your colleagues, your boss, or anyone
else via any means DO NOT TOUCH IT. This virus will wipe out your
private life completely.

If you should come into contact with WORK, put your jacket on and take
two good friends to the nearest grocery store. Purchase the antidote
known as Work-Isolating-Neutralizer-Extract (WINE) or
Bothersome-Employer-Elimination-Rebooter (BEER). Take the antidote
repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.

You should forward this warning to 5 friends. If you do not have 5
friends, you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your
life.

[Rattex]

Subject: Why men dont write ADVICE columns

Dear Walter:

I hope you can help me here. The other day I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't gone more than a mile down the road when my engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's help. When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in the bedroom with a neighbor lady making mad passionate love to her. I am 32, my husband is
34 and we have been married for twelve years. When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted that he'd been having an affair for the past six months. I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. I don't feel I can get through to him anymore.

Can you please help?

Sincerely,

Mrs.. Sheila Usk





Dear Sheila:

A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the jubilee clips holding the vacuum pipes onto the inlet manifold. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the carburetor float chamber.

I hope this helps.

Walter

[Onyx]

Some good advise there.

[s3xy_j0nny]

watch the nature of your jokes, pls, ppl...

[scicopathix]

Wasn't one of us... we are well-behaved, well-mannered, and extremely politically correct.