Jokes of the Day

Punch Lines without punctuation.
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Megageth
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Re: Jokes of the Day

Post by Megageth »

Ok, first off, those were two questions, not one.
In the first picture, its Japanese Oak. In the second, reinforced concrete so they are not even the same.
In the first picture its an expensive hardwood and not many can afford to use it in all aspects of buildings, we're not made of money, you know? In the second instance it looks like a random event rather than fabrication specifications that saved that particular structure. But in both we can safely assume that they were incorporated intentionally by the photo-journalist to immediately convey to the viewer the fact that the devastation took place in Japan, rather than these support beams are some kind of superstructure.
Though I took time to answer them, I find your questions hard to take seriously, a bit of a joke really.
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SlipperyDuck
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Re: Jokes of the Day

Post by SlipperyDuck »

Girl fight, GIRL fight, GIRL FIGHT! ! !
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I've only been wrong once, and that's when I thought I was wrong.
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J_Th4ng
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Re: Jokes of the Day

Post by J_Th4ng »

Here's one for Lee:

A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of lager and a ham sandwich.

The barman looks at him and says,

"Hang on! You're a duck."

"I see your eyes are working," replies the duck.

"And you can talk!" Exclaims the barman.

"I see your ears are working, too," Says the duck.

"Now if you don't mind, can I have my beer and my sandwich please?"

"Certainly, sorry about that,"
Says the barman as he pulls the duck's pint. "It's just we don't get many
Ducks in this pub.

What are you doing round this way?"

"I'm working on the building site across the road," Explains the duck. "I'm
A plasterer."
The flabbergasted barman cannot believe the duck and wants to learn more,

But takes the hint when the duck pulls out a newspaper from his bag and
Proceeds to read it.

So, the duck reads his paper, drinks his beer, eats his sandwich, bids the
Barman good day and leaves.
The same thing happens for two weeks...Then one day the circus comes to
Town.

The ringmaster comes into the pub for a pint and the barman says to him
"You're with the circus, aren't you? Well, I know this duck that could be
Just brilliant in your circus.

He talks, drinks beer, eats sandwiches, reads the newspaper and everything!"

"Sounds marvellous," says the ringmaster, handing over his business card.
"Get him to give me a call."

So the next day when the duck comes into the pub the barman says,

"Hey Mr Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, paying really good
Money."

"I'm always looking for the next job," Says the duck."Where is it?"

"At the circus," says the barman.

"The circus?" repeats the duck.

"That's right," replies the barman.

"The circus?" the duck asks again, "with the big tent?"

"Yeah," the barman replies.

"With all the animals who live in cages, and performers who
Live in caravans?" asks the duck incredulously.

"Of course," the barman replies.

"The tent has canvas sides and a big canvas roof with a hole in the middle?"
Persists the duck.

"That's right!" says the barman.

The duck shakes his head in amazement, and says ...

"What the Fuck would they want with a plasterer??!"
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s3xy_j0nny
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Re: Jokes of the Day

Post by s3xy_j0nny »

Jules will love this one:

Ape With AK-47
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From the darkness you must fall
Failed and weak, to darkness all.
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SlipperyDuck
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Re: Jokes of the Day

Post by SlipperyDuck »

How insane do you have to be to give a loaded automatic weapon to an animal? ^
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I've only been wrong once, and that's when I thought I was wrong.
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J_Th4ng
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Re: Jokes of the Day

Post by J_Th4ng »

Lee wrote:How insane do you have to be to give a loaded automatic weapon to an animal? ^


Ja, but at least the chimp took it off him again.
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flycatchr
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Re: Jokes of the Day

Post by flycatchr »

ROFL drag good one

I call that one staged - there where blanks in the ak - you cant see the bullets hitting anything.
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SoSheOhPathix

Re: Jokes of the Day

Post by SoSheOhPathix »

An AK won't reload when firing blanks.
Not enough pressure in the port to push the piston back behind paper wads.
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flycatchr
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Re: Jokes of the Day

Post by flycatchr »

I hear you Soshe, (and thats a good point) but i dont see where the bullets are going. and then how do they do it in the movies?
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Paul
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Re: Jokes of the Day

Post by Paul »

Flycatchr wrote:I hear you Soshe, (and thats a good point) but i dont see where the bullets are going. and then how do they do it in the movies?


I assume in movies the AK's they use are replicas that don’t have these “limitations” and can use blanks or even only work with blanks.
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