Just another Grrr tale
Posted: Fri Jun 24, 2016 12:38 am
So thanks to really tight deadlines I haven't been able to game much the past two months.
Soon I'll be able to rejoin you guys, but I've missed being on ts and jamming.
So I thought I'd try and give this another go. Hope you guys enjoy!
----
GRRR TALES - THE RESCUE
----
"Sit down and report soldier."
This was not a good day for Vlad, a rookie Spetsnaz infiltrator and the
sole survivor of his first mission. Things had generally been going well for
him up until that point. The girls liked the uniform and the extra pay meant that
he could afford a new saddle for his bear.
Then those maniacs ruined everything.
"They were crazy commander, beserkers!" Vlad blubbered, tears streaming from his eyes.
"Compose yourself comrade! You are spetsnaz, to be feared. According to this report there were only 10 of them?"
"11 commander" Vlad replied a little more calmly "we managed to capture one of them."
Two heavy set Russian soldiers bristling with ak 47's dragged a man into the room, dropping him unceremoniously on the floor.
He groaned as he hit the floor with a thud. His clothing was torn and he was black with soot.
The commander walked out of the shadows, taking slow deliberate steps. She hissed as her gaze fell upon the hapless spec ops soldier.
"A fucking ginger?"
"Sarge, they're trying to surround us!" shouted Corporal Firesyde, huddled behind a wall. His M4A4 clutched to his chest.
"Shut the fuck up soldier, you're bothering me" snapped Sergeant Quentin "Tyger Tank" Bernadette. Grenade in hand he ripped the pin out with his teeth and chucked it over the wall.
"'s not my fault you got demoted" the corporal replied sullenly, peeking over the wall. "besides, they have us pinned down. I see the others trying to flank but we need a distraction."
The sergeant swore as he peeked over the wall, ducking as the enemies opened fire on him. "Bastards!" a worried look crossed his face. "We'll have to let him loose."
The corporal's face blanched. "But sarge, we have strict orders from the Major-"
"Fuck the major! The major barely does anything!" the sergeant roared. "Now let him loose!"
"Must I do it?" he replied with a whimper.
"Go!" the sergeant passed a bottle of tequila to him "use this, I'll lay down covering fire."
"Fuck me." the corporal muttered to himself, as he crawled to a nearby trench, the entrance barred with a gate.
"How you doing in there private?" he said in a honeyed tone.
"I'M GOING TO KILL ALL OF YOU FUCKERS. LET ME OUT!"
"Now now, private, that's no way to talk about your teammates. Besides I have tequila"
There was silence from the other side of the gate.
"Tequila?" the voice sounded interested and much less hostile.
"Yes, but there are bad men out there who wants to stop you from having it."
"But I love tequila, almost as much as I love hookers."
Firesyde thought quickly. "Well... now that you mention it I did see some skanky ladies on their side, they were saying something about body shots-"
The ensuing firefight was one that would go down in history. In one smooth motion he unlocked the gate and threw the bottle of tequila with an overhand cast that would make any mother at the paralympics proud.
Private Golli "all 88 mm baby" came out like a sex crazed, alcoholic whirlwind. Like a beserk hobbit he charged towards the enemy. They couldn't see him coming, for many of them the last thing they saw was a headful of hair before a combat knife ripped their guts out.
The last sounds of gunfire died out as the dust started settling.
"That's right bitches, that's how I do it" the blood covered private said, a massive grin on his face.
"WHO THE HELL LET HIM OUT?" Major Grant "Warrior Ferret" stepped out from behind a wall. "I GAVE EXPLICIT ORDERS!"
"I did... major" The sergeant replied.
"WHO SAID YOU COULD GIVE ORDERS BALDY?" The major poked his stubby finger against the sergeant's chevrons before he turned his gaze on Firesyde. "DON'T LET HIS SHINY BALD HEAD HYPNOTISE YOU CORPORAL, I CAN MAKE YOU A PRIVATE AGAIN. NOW BRING ME A BEER."
"Yessir" Firesyde muttered, blushing at the furious look of contempt the sergeant gave him.
"THANKS." he took a large swig from his beer, placing it on the corporal's head who had walked up to stand beside him.
"I would really appreciate it if you didn't do that, major" Corporal Kill "Long Albert" said coolly.
"I DIDN'T SAY TABLES COULD SPEAK, WHERE'S THE REST?"
"Russian is leading baker squad, they're looking for entry points to the compound"
The major spat out his drink, hitting the private square in the face.
"RUSSIAN IS LEADING THEM? OH GOD, THEY'RE ALL GOING TO DIE."
The squad, except for the private trying to clean his face, was quiet.
For once they agreed on something.
"We should turn back, this is a stupid idea." Sergeant Ed "Ecko7" said as he peered around a wall for any enemy movement.
"You see this crown above my pips Sarge? You know what that means?" Sergeant Russ snapped at him, his AK-47 pointed towards the ground as he checked into a window, pausing to look at his reflection.
"That a bird shit on you and you thought you got a promo-"
"It means that I'm Sergeant-At-Arms and shut up, we need to get into this compound before alpha squad gets in too much trouble."
In the distance they could hear the noise of gunfire and agonised screaming.
"I'm going to have to agree with the Sarge on this one" Corporal Gerhard "Giftig" Burger said as he trudged behind the two, sniper rifle flung over one shoulder.
"I mean, even if we do get in, I don't really see how it's going to help them."
"I didn't ask for your tactical input corporal, in fact, why don't you move up to that hill and get a better vantage point"
"Better vantage point of how you're going to die maybe. Wait, that would make my day." he grumbled as he stalked towards the hill, the sergeant glaring after him.
Ecko stopped, raising a fist in the air.
"Why are you doing that?" Sergeant Russ demanded
"Shush!" Ecko hissed back
"Don't shush me, I outrank you!"
"Shut up you dumbass, I hear something."
They waited, weapons ready as they heard approaching footsteps.
"Maybe it's Tiny and Irish returning from scouting" Ecko whispered.
"So on Monday, yeah, I like to do biceps. You know? It just gives me such a good feeling, and it really helps with the recoil as well. But you have to be careful not to do too many reps because then you start tearing muscle instead of building it up. So I like to bench a lot as well, you have to be careful with benching. I mean I personally bench up to 50 kilograms but I've done more. Have you seen my pecs? What am I asking, of course you have. But you should gym as well, I have this really good powder for you. Did you know that if you gym, your muscles automatically grow bigger? And doing lateral raise pushups actually balances out your mid level bicep curls."
"Uhuh" Corporal Lyle "Irish" replied, his eyes glazed over as he strolled around the corner, a mammoth of a man next to him.
"Gentleman! This is a stealth mission!" Russ hissed furiously.
"Sorry boet" Corporal Ion "Tiny" clapped him on his back, sending him flying into the dirt. "I was just telling Lyle about my strenuous exercise regime."
"Besides we found a door, unguarded"
"Let's check it out" Russ replied, slowly getting to his feet.
"Sounds like a trap to me" Ecko said moodily "we should try and go in through the roof"
"The door it is" Russ said primly "Fall out men!"
The rolling of Sergeant Ecko's eyes was almost audible at that moment.
Soon I'll be able to rejoin you guys, but I've missed being on ts and jamming.
So I thought I'd try and give this another go. Hope you guys enjoy!
----
GRRR TALES - THE RESCUE
----
"Sit down and report soldier."
This was not a good day for Vlad, a rookie Spetsnaz infiltrator and the
sole survivor of his first mission. Things had generally been going well for
him up until that point. The girls liked the uniform and the extra pay meant that
he could afford a new saddle for his bear.
Then those maniacs ruined everything.
"They were crazy commander, beserkers!" Vlad blubbered, tears streaming from his eyes.
"Compose yourself comrade! You are spetsnaz, to be feared. According to this report there were only 10 of them?"
"11 commander" Vlad replied a little more calmly "we managed to capture one of them."
Two heavy set Russian soldiers bristling with ak 47's dragged a man into the room, dropping him unceremoniously on the floor.
He groaned as he hit the floor with a thud. His clothing was torn and he was black with soot.
The commander walked out of the shadows, taking slow deliberate steps. She hissed as her gaze fell upon the hapless spec ops soldier.
"A fucking ginger?"
"Sarge, they're trying to surround us!" shouted Corporal Firesyde, huddled behind a wall. His M4A4 clutched to his chest.
"Shut the fuck up soldier, you're bothering me" snapped Sergeant Quentin "Tyger Tank" Bernadette. Grenade in hand he ripped the pin out with his teeth and chucked it over the wall.
"'s not my fault you got demoted" the corporal replied sullenly, peeking over the wall. "besides, they have us pinned down. I see the others trying to flank but we need a distraction."
The sergeant swore as he peeked over the wall, ducking as the enemies opened fire on him. "Bastards!" a worried look crossed his face. "We'll have to let him loose."
The corporal's face blanched. "But sarge, we have strict orders from the Major-"
"Fuck the major! The major barely does anything!" the sergeant roared. "Now let him loose!"
"Must I do it?" he replied with a whimper.
"Go!" the sergeant passed a bottle of tequila to him "use this, I'll lay down covering fire."
"Fuck me." the corporal muttered to himself, as he crawled to a nearby trench, the entrance barred with a gate.
"How you doing in there private?" he said in a honeyed tone.
"I'M GOING TO KILL ALL OF YOU FUCKERS. LET ME OUT!"
"Now now, private, that's no way to talk about your teammates. Besides I have tequila"
There was silence from the other side of the gate.
"Tequila?" the voice sounded interested and much less hostile.
"Yes, but there are bad men out there who wants to stop you from having it."
"But I love tequila, almost as much as I love hookers."
Firesyde thought quickly. "Well... now that you mention it I did see some skanky ladies on their side, they were saying something about body shots-"
The ensuing firefight was one that would go down in history. In one smooth motion he unlocked the gate and threw the bottle of tequila with an overhand cast that would make any mother at the paralympics proud.
Private Golli "all 88 mm baby" came out like a sex crazed, alcoholic whirlwind. Like a beserk hobbit he charged towards the enemy. They couldn't see him coming, for many of them the last thing they saw was a headful of hair before a combat knife ripped their guts out.
The last sounds of gunfire died out as the dust started settling.
"That's right bitches, that's how I do it" the blood covered private said, a massive grin on his face.
"WHO THE HELL LET HIM OUT?" Major Grant "Warrior Ferret" stepped out from behind a wall. "I GAVE EXPLICIT ORDERS!"
"I did... major" The sergeant replied.
"WHO SAID YOU COULD GIVE ORDERS BALDY?" The major poked his stubby finger against the sergeant's chevrons before he turned his gaze on Firesyde. "DON'T LET HIS SHINY BALD HEAD HYPNOTISE YOU CORPORAL, I CAN MAKE YOU A PRIVATE AGAIN. NOW BRING ME A BEER."
"Yessir" Firesyde muttered, blushing at the furious look of contempt the sergeant gave him.
"THANKS." he took a large swig from his beer, placing it on the corporal's head who had walked up to stand beside him.
"I would really appreciate it if you didn't do that, major" Corporal Kill "Long Albert" said coolly.
"I DIDN'T SAY TABLES COULD SPEAK, WHERE'S THE REST?"
"Russian is leading baker squad, they're looking for entry points to the compound"
The major spat out his drink, hitting the private square in the face.
"RUSSIAN IS LEADING THEM? OH GOD, THEY'RE ALL GOING TO DIE."
The squad, except for the private trying to clean his face, was quiet.
For once they agreed on something.
"We should turn back, this is a stupid idea." Sergeant Ed "Ecko7" said as he peered around a wall for any enemy movement.
"You see this crown above my pips Sarge? You know what that means?" Sergeant Russ snapped at him, his AK-47 pointed towards the ground as he checked into a window, pausing to look at his reflection.
"That a bird shit on you and you thought you got a promo-"
"It means that I'm Sergeant-At-Arms and shut up, we need to get into this compound before alpha squad gets in too much trouble."
In the distance they could hear the noise of gunfire and agonised screaming.
"I'm going to have to agree with the Sarge on this one" Corporal Gerhard "Giftig" Burger said as he trudged behind the two, sniper rifle flung over one shoulder.
"I mean, even if we do get in, I don't really see how it's going to help them."
"I didn't ask for your tactical input corporal, in fact, why don't you move up to that hill and get a better vantage point"
"Better vantage point of how you're going to die maybe. Wait, that would make my day." he grumbled as he stalked towards the hill, the sergeant glaring after him.
Ecko stopped, raising a fist in the air.
"Why are you doing that?" Sergeant Russ demanded
"Shush!" Ecko hissed back
"Don't shush me, I outrank you!"
"Shut up you dumbass, I hear something."
They waited, weapons ready as they heard approaching footsteps.
"Maybe it's Tiny and Irish returning from scouting" Ecko whispered.
"So on Monday, yeah, I like to do biceps. You know? It just gives me such a good feeling, and it really helps with the recoil as well. But you have to be careful not to do too many reps because then you start tearing muscle instead of building it up. So I like to bench a lot as well, you have to be careful with benching. I mean I personally bench up to 50 kilograms but I've done more. Have you seen my pecs? What am I asking, of course you have. But you should gym as well, I have this really good powder for you. Did you know that if you gym, your muscles automatically grow bigger? And doing lateral raise pushups actually balances out your mid level bicep curls."
"Uhuh" Corporal Lyle "Irish" replied, his eyes glazed over as he strolled around the corner, a mammoth of a man next to him.
"Gentleman! This is a stealth mission!" Russ hissed furiously.
"Sorry boet" Corporal Ion "Tiny" clapped him on his back, sending him flying into the dirt. "I was just telling Lyle about my strenuous exercise regime."
"Besides we found a door, unguarded"
"Let's check it out" Russ replied, slowly getting to his feet.
"Sounds like a trap to me" Ecko said moodily "we should try and go in through the roof"
"The door it is" Russ said primly "Fall out men!"
The rolling of Sergeant Ecko's eyes was almost audible at that moment.