Blond find a job at a hardware store.
Manager: "Do you know the difference between a screw and nut" ???
Blond: "I don't really know, but I've never been nutted"
Jokes of the Day
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BadA$$jack
- Senior Member
- Posts: 377
- Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2012 9:50 pm
- Location: Cape Town
Q1 : How did the game go
Paul: Paul : Those fucking dipshit hackers came at us like a bull trying to ram a Spaniard in tights
Paul: "Firstly they went on and on and on about UAC! Fuck UAC! UAC ain't nothing, why you niggas questioning my honour? Is it because I am black?"
Paul: "Then they came to a knife fight with a sword! A sword I tell you! Those limp wristed fools need a sword to counter act our brilliance"
Paul: "Didn't matter though, even though we lost the knife fight we still go the maps we wanted,nooooooobs!"
Paul: "After that I didn't concentrate much because I busy getting blown by all of the PewPew guys mom's"
Paul: "Even one of the sisters wanted to join in and I was all like Bitch please, you need to go practise first"
Paul: ANd that boys and girls is how you mother fucking answer a mother fucking question!
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RussianElite.
- Senior Member
- Posts: 869
- Joined: Mon May 28, 2012 8:40 am
I'm Joe Friday, private eye. I work on Tuesday, Tuesday's my
secretary.
Yesterday I was working in my New York office when there was a
knock at the door, scared me half out of my secretary.
Then a tall blonde walked by, I knew she was tall 'cause we were
on the 7th floor.
The phone rang. It was a client. I knew something was wrong
because she told me there was.
I raced down the stairs, called a taxi, the taxi stopped with a
jerk, the jerk got out and I got in.
We took the corner at 80 miles an hour. A cop stopped us and
told us to put it back.
Then we were driving on the sidewalk because there was a sign
that said "keep deaths off the roads."
We were getting further out of the city. I knew this because we
weren't hitting so many pedestrians.
When I got to my client's house she greeted me with a burning
kiss. Then she took her cigarette out and kissed me again.
There was a man on the floor. He had bullet wounds to the head
and stab wounds to the heart. He was dead so we went for a drive in
the country.
Then a brick came through the window, hit her on the left breast
and broke four of my fingers.
We got a flat tire. She pumped and I pumped, she pumped and I
pumped. Then we got out and fixed the tire.
When we got back to my clients house she invited me in for a
root beer. The root was nice but the beer was flat.
I was giving her a good night kiss but she closed her legs and
broke my nose.
secretary.
Yesterday I was working in my New York office when there was a
knock at the door, scared me half out of my secretary.
Then a tall blonde walked by, I knew she was tall 'cause we were
on the 7th floor.
The phone rang. It was a client. I knew something was wrong
because she told me there was.
I raced down the stairs, called a taxi, the taxi stopped with a
jerk, the jerk got out and I got in.
We took the corner at 80 miles an hour. A cop stopped us and
told us to put it back.
Then we were driving on the sidewalk because there was a sign
that said "keep deaths off the roads."
We were getting further out of the city. I knew this because we
weren't hitting so many pedestrians.
When I got to my client's house she greeted me with a burning
kiss. Then she took her cigarette out and kissed me again.
There was a man on the floor. He had bullet wounds to the head
and stab wounds to the heart. He was dead so we went for a drive in
the country.
Then a brick came through the window, hit her on the left breast
and broke four of my fingers.
We got a flat tire. She pumped and I pumped, she pumped and I
pumped. Then we got out and fixed the tire.
When we got back to my clients house she invited me in for a
root beer. The root was nice but the beer was flat.
I was giving her a good night kiss but she closed her legs and
broke my nose.
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Voetsek-Mikey
- Senior Member
- Posts: 807
- Joined: Sat Aug 11, 2007 11:18 pm
-
RussianElite.
- Senior Member
- Posts: 869
- Joined: Mon May 28, 2012 8:40 am
[TABLE="align: left"]
[TR]
[TD]
[19-02, 11:38] Anthrax:QB tell me what map he wants tonight
[19-02, 11:42] TygerBS:karkand or siene
[19-02, 11:43] RussianElite.
id Jono tell you what he wants tonight Barry?
[19-02, 11:55] Anthrax:Seine
[19-02, 11:55] Anthrax:What does he want Russian
[19-02, 11:55] TygerBS:a reach around i am sure
[19-02, 11:57] Anthrax:done
[19-02, 11:57] RussianElite.:He wanted Paul to join...
[19-02, 11:57] Anthrax:I want to touch his soft skin again
[19-02, 11:57] Anthrax:fuck that
[19-02, 11:57] RussianElite.:Horrifying I know..
[19-02, 11:57] Anthrax:he is filthy fucking dirty
[19-02, 11:58] RussianElite.:ROFL
[19-02, 11:58] RussianElite.:THis is going to the Jokes of the day :P
[/TD]
[/TR]
[/TABLE]
[TR]
[TD]
[19-02, 11:38] Anthrax:QB tell me what map he wants tonight
[19-02, 11:42] TygerBS:karkand or siene
[19-02, 11:43] RussianElite.
id Jono tell you what he wants tonight Barry?[19-02, 11:55] Anthrax:Seine
[19-02, 11:55] Anthrax:What does he want Russian
[19-02, 11:55] TygerBS:a reach around i am sure
[19-02, 11:57] Anthrax:done
[19-02, 11:57] RussianElite.:He wanted Paul to join...
[19-02, 11:57] Anthrax:I want to touch his soft skin again
[19-02, 11:57] Anthrax:fuck that
[19-02, 11:57] RussianElite.:Horrifying I know..
[19-02, 11:57] Anthrax:he is filthy fucking dirty
[19-02, 11:58] RussianElite.:ROFL
[19-02, 11:58] RussianElite.:THis is going to the Jokes of the day :P
[/TD]
[/TR]
[/TABLE]
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SlipperyDuck
- Posts: 11493
- Joined: Sat Jun 22, 1974 12:00 am
[/td]
-
SlipperyDuck
- Posts: 11493
- Joined: Sat Jun 22, 1974 12:00 am
