GRRR Squad Forum

on "when duty calls" SABC 2 - tonight - shitizens shouldn't take drugs

The story of my life...

LOL

Dragonne wrote:The story of my life...

EPIC HAHAHAAHAHAHAH brilliant! why is it so? WHY!!!

Faceless. The new 'Cyanide & Happiness'

*The following questions were set in last year's GED examination
These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)............and
they WILL breed.
*
Q. Name the four seasons
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe
to drink
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes
large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists

Q. How is dew formed
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire

Q. What causes the tides in the oceans
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All
water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water
on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun
joins the fight

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well
endowed

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election

Q. What are steroids
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs (Shoot
yourself now, there is little hope)

Q.. What happens to your body as you age
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his
adultery (So true)

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A. Premature death

Q. What is artificial insemination
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
A. Keep it in the cow (Simple, but brilliant)

Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The
abdomen)
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax
and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the
borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity
contains the five bowels: A, E, I,O,U.. (wtf!)

Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie

Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
A. Nearby

Q. What is the most common form of birth control
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium
(That would work)

Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome

Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)

Q. What is a terminal illness
A. When you are sick at the airport. (Irrefutable)

Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like
umbrellas

Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand
its meaning
A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. (OMG)

Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight (brilliant)

Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head

Two hundred boredom "activists" gathered in London in December at James Ward's annual banal-apalooza conference, "Boring 2010," to listen to ennui-stricken speakers glorify all things dreary, including a demonstration of milk-tasting (in wine glasses, describing flavor and smoothness), charts breaking down the characteristics of a man's sneezes for three years, and a PowerPoint presentation on the color distribution and materials of a man's necktie collection from one year to the next. Another speaker's "My Relationship With Bus Routes" seemed well-received, also. Observed one attendee, to a Wall Street Journal reporter: "We're all overstimulated. I think it's important to stop all that for a while and see what several hours of being bored really feels like." [Wall Street Journal, 12-29-2010]

urm, what?

He lost me at:

Paul wrote:apalooza

There was a German, an Italian and Julius Malema on death row.

The warden gave them a choice of three ways to die:

1. to be shot
2. to be hung
3. to be injected with the AIDS virus for a slow death.

So the German said, "Shoot me right in the head." Boom, he was dead instantly.

The Italian said, "Just hang me." Snap! he was dead.

Then it was Julius ' turn, and he said, "Give me some of that AIDS stuff." They gave him the shot, and Julius fell down laughing.

The guards looked at each other and wondered what was wrong with this guy.
Then Julius said, "Give me another one of those shots," so the guards did.

Now he was laughing so hard, tears rolled from his eyes and he doubled over.
Finally the warden said, "What's wrong with you?"

Then Julius replied, "Eish you guys are so stupid... I'm wearing a condom.