gr@v wrote:
Damn it was so funny, it was a COD parody by a comedy troupe called "The whitest Kids U Know"YouTube wrote:This video has been removed due to terms of use violation.
Jokes of the Day
Re: Jokes of the Day
-
SoSheOhPathix
Re: Jokes of the Day
Lol.
Checked out a whole bunch of their stuff on YouTube.
Them's pretty funny doods...
Checked out a whole bunch of their stuff on YouTube.
Them's pretty funny doods...
-
s3xy_j0nny
- Senior Member
- Posts: 4046
- Joined: Thu Oct 05, 2006 2:44 pm
- Contact:
Re: Jokes of the Day
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t8Nf1MK7lts
Motivational speech for all soldiers. From Full Metal Jacket.
Motivational speech for all soldiers. From Full Metal Jacket.
From the darkness you must fall
Failed and weak, to darkness all.
-
SoSheOhPathix
Re: Jokes of the Day
Looks about right.
Didn't any of you fags go to the weatherforce?
I reckon the Afrikaans insults were far better than the yankie ones, though.
One of my favourites, I remember an RSM telling, at a parade practice:
"Moenie vir my loer nie, of ek ruk jou arm af, en druk die bloedige kant by jou hol in!"
"Jou ma se snotterige, sluimerige bloedrooi hoenderpoes!"
^That one had me doing opvok, coz I couldn't not laugh.
Oh, the good old days...
Didn't any of you fags go to the weatherforce?
I reckon the Afrikaans insults were far better than the yankie ones, though.
One of my favourites, I remember an RSM telling, at a parade practice:
"Moenie vir my loer nie, of ek ruk jou arm af, en druk die bloedige kant by jou hol in!"
"Jou ma se snotterige, sluimerige bloedrooi hoenderpoes!"
^That one had me doing opvok, coz I couldn't not laugh.
Oh, the good old days...
-
SlipperyDuck
- Posts: 11493
- Joined: Sat Jun 22, 1974 12:00 am
Re: Jokes of the Day
It seems that a young man volunteered for military service during World War II. He had such a high aptitude for aviation that he was sent right to Pensacola Naval Air Station, skipping recruit training.
The very first day at Pensacola he solos and is the best flier on the base. All they could do was give him his gold wings and assign him immediately to an aircraft carrier in the Pacific.
On his first day aboard, he took off and singlehandedly shot down 6 Japanese fighter planes. Then climbing up to 20,000 feet, he found 9 more Japanese planes and shot them all down as well.
Noting that his fuel was getting low, he descended, circled the nearby carrier and came in for a perfect landing on the deck.
He threw back the canopy, climbed out and jogged over to the captain. Saluting smartly he said,
"Well sir, how did I do on my very first day?"
The captain turned around, bowed politely, and replied, "You make only one velly, velly selious mistake."
The very first day at Pensacola he solos and is the best flier on the base. All they could do was give him his gold wings and assign him immediately to an aircraft carrier in the Pacific.
On his first day aboard, he took off and singlehandedly shot down 6 Japanese fighter planes. Then climbing up to 20,000 feet, he found 9 more Japanese planes and shot them all down as well.
Noting that his fuel was getting low, he descended, circled the nearby carrier and came in for a perfect landing on the deck.
He threw back the canopy, climbed out and jogged over to the captain. Saluting smartly he said,
"Well sir, how did I do on my very first day?"
The captain turned around, bowed politely, and replied, "You make only one velly, velly selious mistake."
[table][tr]
[td]
[/td]
[td] [/td]
[/tr][/table]
I've only been wrong once, and that's when I thought I was wrong.
-
[td]
[/td][td] [/td]
[/tr][/table]
I've only been wrong once, and that's when I thought I was wrong.
-
-
SlipperyDuck
- Posts: 11493
- Joined: Sat Jun 22, 1974 12:00 am
Re: Jokes of the Day
Two guys and a girl were sitting at a bar talking about their lives.
The first guy said, "I'm a YUPPIE. You know, Young Urban Professional."
The second guy responded, "I'm a DINK. You know, Double Income No Kids."
They then asked the woman, "What are you?"
She replied: "I'm a WIFE. You know, Wash, Iron, Fuck, Etc."
The first guy said, "I'm a YUPPIE. You know, Young Urban Professional."
The second guy responded, "I'm a DINK. You know, Double Income No Kids."
They then asked the woman, "What are you?"
She replied: "I'm a WIFE. You know, Wash, Iron, Fuck, Etc."
[table][tr]
[td] [/td]
[td] [/td]
[/tr][/table]
I've only been wrong once, and that's when I thought I was wrong.
-
[td]
[/td][td] [/td]
[/tr][/table]
I've only been wrong once, and that's when I thought I was wrong.
-
-
s3xy_j0nny
- Senior Member
- Posts: 4046
- Joined: Thu Oct 05, 2006 2:44 pm
- Contact:
Re: Jokes of the Day
Q: Why do the best jugglers in the world have such high pitched voices?
A: Because their balls never drop.
A: Because their balls never drop.
From the darkness you must fall
Failed and weak, to darkness all.
-
SoSheOhPathix
Re: Jokes of the Day
Walking
Walking can add minutes to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home, at R 20 000 a month.
My grandpa started walking when he was 60. Now he's 97 years old, and we don't know where he is.
I like long walks. Especially when they are taken by people that annoy me.
The only reason I would take up walking is so I could hear heavy breathing again.
I have to walk early in the morning, before my brain figures out what I'm doing.
Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise', I wash my mouth out with chocolate.
I do have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.
I got a lot of exercise the last few years... just getting over the hill.
We all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot more information in our heads. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
"Now that I'm older, I thought it was great that I seemed to have more patience. Turns out I just don't give a shit."
Walking can add minutes to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home, at R 20 000 a month.
My grandpa started walking when he was 60. Now he's 97 years old, and we don't know where he is.
I like long walks. Especially when they are taken by people that annoy me.
The only reason I would take up walking is so I could hear heavy breathing again.
I have to walk early in the morning, before my brain figures out what I'm doing.
Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise', I wash my mouth out with chocolate.
I do have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.
I got a lot of exercise the last few years... just getting over the hill.
We all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot more information in our heads. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
"Now that I'm older, I thought it was great that I seemed to have more patience. Turns out I just don't give a shit."
-
s3xy_j0nny
- Senior Member
- Posts: 4046
- Joined: Thu Oct 05, 2006 2:44 pm
- Contact:
Re: Jokes of the Day
Best. Fight. Ever. : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gdn-e5SsdKc&feature=related
How can she slap? HOW CAN SHE SLAP??! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uWch9E-Xi64&feature=related
How can she slap? HOW CAN SHE SLAP??! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uWch9E-Xi64&feature=related
From the darkness you must fall
Failed and weak, to darkness all.