
Jokes of the Day
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baselineac
- Senior Member
- Posts: 1053
- Joined: Thu Sep 20, 2007 6:17 pm
Re: Jokes of the Day
That last one is just classic! 

Re: Jokes of the Day
I wish they would make this movie, I would see it
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MZi66YMb6Z4&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MZi66YMb6Z4&feature=related

Re: Jokes of the Day
Who here checks out cracked.com? Not it is not a homo-erotic porn site for j0nny
It is flippen funny, found this gem there
http://www.cracked.com/video_16904_6-adorable-youtube-videos-that-qualify-as-child-abuse.html
It is flippen funny, found this gem there
http://www.cracked.com/video_16904_6-adorable-youtube-videos-that-qualify-as-child-abuse.html

Re: Jokes of the Day
Break Dance FAIL! I canned myself
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VL8AS9slmHI&feature=rec-HM-fresh+div
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VL8AS9slmHI&feature=rec-HM-fresh+div

-
SoSheOhPathix
Re: Jokes of the Day
Financial Theorem
Engineers, Teachers, Programmers and Scientists can never earn as much salary as business executives and sales people.
This theorem can now be supported by a mathematical equation based on the following three postulates:
Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power (Knowledge=Power)
Postulate 2: Time is Money (Time=Money)
Postulate 3 (as every Physics student knows):
Power = Work/Time
It therefore follows:
Knowledge = Work / Time and since Time = Money,
we have: Knowledge = Work / Money
Solving for Money, we get:
Money = Work / Knowledge
Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of Work done.
Conclusion: The Less you Know, the More you Make
Engineers, Teachers, Programmers and Scientists can never earn as much salary as business executives and sales people.
This theorem can now be supported by a mathematical equation based on the following three postulates:
Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power (Knowledge=Power)
Postulate 2: Time is Money (Time=Money)
Postulate 3 (as every Physics student knows):
Power = Work/Time
It therefore follows:
Knowledge = Work / Time and since Time = Money,
we have: Knowledge = Work / Money
Solving for Money, we get:
Money = Work / Knowledge
Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of Work done.
Conclusion: The Less you Know, the More you Make
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SoSheOhPathix
-
HoMeOhPathix
Re: Jokes of the Day
Some arguments why dog god exists
MORAL ARGUMENT (II)
(1) In my younger days I was a cursing, drinking, smoking, gambling, child-molesting, thieving, murdering, bed-wetting bastard.
(2) That all changed once I became religious.
(3) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM CREATION, a.k.a. ARGUMENT FROM PERSONAL INCREDULITY (I)
(1) If evolution is false, then creationism is true, and therefore God exists.
(2) Evolution can't be true, since I lack the mental capacity to understand it; moreover, to accept its truth would cause me to be uncomfortable.
(3) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM FEAR
(1) If there is no God then we're all going to not exist after we die.
(2) I'm afraid of that.
(3) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM THE BIBLE
(1) [arbitrary passage from OT]
(2) [arbitrary passage from NT]
(3) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM INTELLIGENCE
(1) Look, there's really no point in me trying to explain the whole thing to you stupid atheists; it's too complicated for you to understand. God exists whether you like it or not.
(2) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM UNINTELLIGENCE
(1) Okay, I don't pretend to be as intelligent as you guys — you're obviously very well read. But I read the Bible, and nothing you say can convince me that God does not exist. I feel him in my heart, and you can feel him too, if you'll just ask him into your life. "For God so loved the world that he sent his only begotten son into the world, that whosoever believes in him shall not perish from the earth." John 3:16.
(2) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM BELIEF
(1) If God exists, then I should believe in Him.
(2) I believe in God.
(3) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM INTIMIDATION (My personal favourite)
(1) See this bonfire?
(2) Therefore, God exists.
PARENTAL ARGUMENT
(1) My mommy and daddy told me that God exists.
(2) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM NUMBERS
(1) Millions and millions of people believe in God.
(2) They can't all be wrong, can they?
(3) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM ABSURDITY
(1) Maranathra!
(2) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM ECONOMY
(1) God exists, you bastards!
(2) Therefore, God exists.
BOATWRIGHT'S ARGUMENT
(1) Ha ha ha.
(2) Therefore, God exists.
DORE'S ARGUMENT
(1) I forgot to take my meds.
(2) Therefore, I AM CHRIST!!
(3) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM GUITAR MASTERY
(1) Eric Clapton is God.
(2) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM INTERNET AUTHORITY
(1) There is a website that successfully argues for the existence of God.
(2) Here is the URL.
(3) Therefore, God exists.
http://www.godlessgeeks.com/LINKS/GodProof.htm
MORAL ARGUMENT (II)
(1) In my younger days I was a cursing, drinking, smoking, gambling, child-molesting, thieving, murdering, bed-wetting bastard.
(2) That all changed once I became religious.
(3) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM CREATION, a.k.a. ARGUMENT FROM PERSONAL INCREDULITY (I)
(1) If evolution is false, then creationism is true, and therefore God exists.
(2) Evolution can't be true, since I lack the mental capacity to understand it; moreover, to accept its truth would cause me to be uncomfortable.
(3) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM FEAR
(1) If there is no God then we're all going to not exist after we die.
(2) I'm afraid of that.
(3) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM THE BIBLE
(1) [arbitrary passage from OT]
(2) [arbitrary passage from NT]
(3) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM INTELLIGENCE
(1) Look, there's really no point in me trying to explain the whole thing to you stupid atheists; it's too complicated for you to understand. God exists whether you like it or not.
(2) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM UNINTELLIGENCE
(1) Okay, I don't pretend to be as intelligent as you guys — you're obviously very well read. But I read the Bible, and nothing you say can convince me that God does not exist. I feel him in my heart, and you can feel him too, if you'll just ask him into your life. "For God so loved the world that he sent his only begotten son into the world, that whosoever believes in him shall not perish from the earth." John 3:16.
(2) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM BELIEF
(1) If God exists, then I should believe in Him.
(2) I believe in God.
(3) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM INTIMIDATION (My personal favourite)
(1) See this bonfire?
(2) Therefore, God exists.
PARENTAL ARGUMENT
(1) My mommy and daddy told me that God exists.
(2) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM NUMBERS
(1) Millions and millions of people believe in God.
(2) They can't all be wrong, can they?
(3) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM ABSURDITY
(1) Maranathra!
(2) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM ECONOMY
(1) God exists, you bastards!
(2) Therefore, God exists.
BOATWRIGHT'S ARGUMENT
(1) Ha ha ha.
(2) Therefore, God exists.
DORE'S ARGUMENT
(1) I forgot to take my meds.
(2) Therefore, I AM CHRIST!!
(3) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM GUITAR MASTERY
(1) Eric Clapton is God.
(2) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM INTERNET AUTHORITY
(1) There is a website that successfully argues for the existence of God.
(2) Here is the URL.
(3) Therefore, God exists.
http://www.godlessgeeks.com/LINKS/GodProof.htm
can you please stop showing people pictures of my lawnmower!!!!

