GRRR Squad Forum

Little boy: "Hey! What are you doing? You can't touch me there... You're not a priest!?"

I went to the petrol station today and asked for twenty rands worth of gas.
The attendant farted and gave me a receipt.

Honeypie
After a nice dinner the two elderly couples got up from the table. The ladies went into the kitchen and the men went into the living room.

One of the gents said to the other,
- I think it is so wonderful how you call your wife, "honey pie" and "sweet pea", and "sugar" all the time.

The other gent said:
- Well to tell you the truth, four years ago, I forget her name.

There was a guy who had a Harley Davidson and he was passionate about his bike. He spent a lot of time with it, giving it a wash and shine when not riding and wherever he went, he brought a Vaseline in case it rained, so that he could smear the Vaseline in the engine parts that are susceptible to rust.

One day, he met a babe at a highway bar and they clicked. After a few weeks of dating and riding together, she invited him to meet her parents, but she warned him that nobody talks at the table because the first one to speak would have to wash the dishes. He thanked her for the warning and the following Saturday, he set out to meet the parents.

The guy pulled his bike up the driveway, and the rumble of his Harley alerted his babe. She ran out to meet him, gave him a passionate smooche and lead him by the hand to meet her parents. The guy could not believe his eyes when he saw the piles and piles of dishes in the kitchen, stacked as high as the ceiling.

Finally they sat down to eat and the guy was amazed at the silence around the table. No-one said a word so he decided to test the parents and get them to talk. He grabbed his babe, put her onto the table and made love to her. The parents showed disapproval on their faces but still did not say a word. So he grabbed the mother, put her onto the table and made love to her. She was smiling and enjoying it very much, and the father was fuming red, but still, no-one said a word. The guy couldn’t believe it!

Then a lightening flashed and the thunder rumbled, so he thought of his bike, grabbed his Vaseline and got up. The wide-eyed father shouted, “Alright, alright, I’ll wash the dishes!”

I wasn't sure where to post this, so I thought to post it here, seeing as some of you might think it a joke or just plain silly.

I tried it and it didn't taste half bad.
Anyway, so here goes:

CAKE IN A MUG

1 Mug
4 tablespoons flour
4 tablespoons sugar
2 tablespoons cocoa

mix

1 egg

mix

3 tablespoons milk
3 tablespoons oil

mix well

Put in microwave for 3 min on maximum power (1000 watt)
Wait until it stops rising and sets in the mug.
Either tip it out of the mug or eat it right there.

Enjoy with a cup of coffee or tea (in another mug )

Twee seuntjies sit in die dokter se wagkamer. Die een huil verskriklik.
"Hoekom huil jy?" vra sy maatjie grootoog.
"Ek is hier vir 'n bloedtoets en hulle gaan my vinger sny!" antwoord hy.
Skielik begin die ander een ook huil.
"En nou?" vra die eerse een.
"Ek is hier vir 'n urinetoets!!" huil hy.

Do you even understand that joke, Sheri?

Yes, I do!

I've been married to a boer for almost 7 yrs now.

I agreed to answer some questions on the subject of gaming for Sarie Magazine. I think the mag will come out in July, it would be interesting to see what they print.

> *Where has it started, this love of video* games? How old
> were you when
> you started playing?

I was 15 when I started playing simple games on friends'
computers in my school holidays. At first games like chess
and word-based games, later on games uniquely designed for
PC technology. I enjoy mental challenges, thats where the
original interest stemmed from.

> *How many hours a day do you play? What is the
> attraction? Can you
> explain the thrill?

Hard to say exactly how much, probably between 1 and 2
hours a day on average. Sometimes 3-4 hours a day.
Sometimes nothing for a week or more. Games are, in my
mind, a form of interactive TV. Where TV simply feeds the
mind, PC games can challenge both mentally in the form of
tactics and physically in the form of reflex reactions.
The games I play usually involve both aspects and that
challenge is what I find rewarding. The betterment of
self. PC games are a hobby for me, they entertain me and
I have met a lot of good friends through games so there is
a strong social aspect too.

> *You play with people around the country, take part in
> tournaments and
> have Springbok-colours or something like that? How does
> such a
> tournament work? Please tell more.

There are online tournaments where everyone connects to a
server from all over the country and there are tournaments
that take place in a single physical venue like a hall.
The second type are referred to as LANs, Local Area
Network venues. I have played in both. I have never
received colours but have played in tournaments where the
better teams have claimed national colours. Its strange to
hear of gamers getting colours, even for those of us who
play frequently.

> *You have played war games on the computer. Now you are
> in a physical
> war zone. Is that life imitating uhm..video* games?

I doubt that. War games are fictional entertainment and I
don't believe that anyone playing them is under any other
illusion. There seems to be a common perception that
games, like strong narcotics, somehow convince people that
they are more than virtual or that aspects of reality are
false. I read a few news stories about the game Grand Theft
Auto and how parents are blaming the game for their
misbehaving youth. I laughed at the level of superstition.


> *Have the video games prepared you for the real thing? I
> suppose nothing
> can prepare one?

This question has no merit but for the sake of your
article:
I believe that the US Army created the game America's Army
as a recruitment tool and uses PC's for aspects of basic
training.

> *What exactly are you doing in Chad? Are you going back?
> When?

I am contracted to assist the UN WFP. Not sure when I am
going back.

> *There is a lot of branding in video games: when you are
> playing golf or
> take part in the Grand Prix or what ever. Do you know
> something about
> that side of the industry? There must be a lot of money
> involved.

As a gamer I can tell you that I have noticed more and more
ingame advertising appearing. Marketing has long
tenticles. Yes thats an 'n', not an 's'. I can't tell you
how much they make. "Lots" sounds about right.

> *There is a lot of debate around video* games, if it is
> good or bad for
> kids. What is your view?

Individual cases merit different decisions but I would
advise parents not to get advice on the subject from Sarie
Magazine. (I dare you to print that)

> *Where should parent draw the line, according to you?

Individual cases merit different decisions.

> *Which video games should parents ban? Or shouldn't they
> ban anything?

Individual cases merit different decisions. There are age
restrictions printed on certain game boxes that parents
should consider.

> *Does it have any educational value? Give the names of a
> few such games.

I don't play educational games, I play for entertainment.
Try Google.

> *The future of video* games: how advanced will the
> technology get? What
> weird and wonderful stuff will we be able to do in
> future?

Game developers may help you with that.

> *What wonderful stuff can one do even now?

Try the Nintendo Wii, there are demo models set up at many
stores across the country. Its a lot of fun!

> *If someone says you are addicted to video* games, what
> will your answer
> be?

I will shrug my shoulders, 'addiction' is a badly used
word. Most earthly organisms are addicted to water.
Dependency is more relevant in this context. Am I
dependent on games? No. What would happen if games were
taken out of my life? I imagine I would search for another
hobby that challenges me in a similar way. Do I want to
'quit'? No, because I enjoy it. Does that constitute
addiction?

> *Are you a social phobic?

A rather vague question. Am I frightened of people? I
don't like large crowds and I don't like public speaking.
Do I have a problem with going to pubs/clubs/restaurants?
No. Can I comfortably look people in the eye during a
conversation? Yes. Is there still a perception that
gamers are socially awkward? I was awkward with girls
during my late teens (and a bit during my early 20's if I
must be honest) but I would put that down to going to an
all-boys school. Do some people get into games because
they are socially phobic? Probably. The group of friends I
have met through gaming gets together to watch the rugby,
braai and discuss politics much as I imagine many other
South Africans do. Are journalists socially phobic?

classic!!

I am sooooooo curious as to what they will actually print!