Jokes of the Day

[gr@v1ty]

LOL!

How many kids will it take to detonate that? And how many will it take out?
Will kids required < 'nade damage?

[Bloed+lus]

The Curtain Rods

She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things. On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar and a bottle of spring water.

When she finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar into the hollow of the curtain rods.

She then cleaned up the kitchen and left. When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days.

Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything from cleaning, mopping and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days and in the end, they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked.

People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit.

Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.

A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls.

Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.

The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going.

He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day.

She agreed and within the hour, his lawyers delivered the paperwork.

A week later, the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home.

And to spite the ex-wife, they even took the curtain rods with them! sycho:

[SlipperyDuck]

Either he likes cyclists or he doesn't, you have 3 guesses:

[s3xy_j0nny]

BLOODY GOOD SHOT, OLD CHAP!

Imagine all the smug, spandex-clad twats that got creamed in that little incident...

[scicopathix]

LMAO!

I'd pay good money to see someone do that in a Hummer, during the 94.7 cycle challenge.
I'll provide sniper cover for the ones he misses

[Megageth]

Either jonny and scico like cyclists or they don't, you have 3 guesses.

[gr@v1ty]

if only! Wonder if something like that would ever really happen.

I mean... I pay my car license to drive on the road. Surely Cyclists and pedestrians should pay too? or else ^^^situations like that even things out!

[flycatchr]

ONE word:








PWNED

[baselineac]

nice photo
pity there arent some more shots ...like 10 sec intervals

[baselineac]

a letter emailed to the sabc



To whom it may concern:
SABC TV licenses
i hereby want to notify you publically that i from here on refuse to pay your license fees. i personally feel that you are being RACIST and unconstitutional.
i am an south african citizen, who works hard and pays my taxes.if you expect me to pay your license fees them please broadcast programming in my language.
(oh and please note that i do not classify 10 year old rebroadcasts as quality television)
in the last 4 months i have yet to see a program in english. we all know that this is the "NEW" south africa, but i cannot fathom your level of intelligence
when it comes to broadcasting programmes that keeps dwelling in the past..all i see is apartheid this apartheid that.FOR FUCKS SAKE!!!!!
i dont speak xhosa
i dont speak venda
i dont speak zulu
i dont speak any of the other fucked up languages except english and im not planning to learn these other languages either.
so please the morons in top management DO NOT NEED FUCKING BONUSES EITHER. rather spend the money on buying some decent fucking programs from overseas
i have now also taken my television sets in to have my tuners removed, and FUCK YOU i will not pay the R300.00 inspection fee
that you require.if you want to inspect my tv sets phone me and make an appointment,dont send your fucking useless illiterate smelley tv license
inspector to my house, as he is probably only on a mission to see what he can send his friends back to come and steal from me.
so if you cannot accept this ...then FUCK YOU !!!! IM PACKING UP AND LEAVING THIS SHIT HOLE THAT YOU HAVE TURNED THIS COUNTRY INTO.
KINDEST REGARDS