Jokes of the Day
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scicopathix
Re: Jokes of the Day
What I particularly enjoy about that one, is how many times it's been opened.
You were expecting what...?
You were expecting what...?
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baselineac
- Senior Member
- Posts: 1053
- Joined: Thu Sep 20, 2007 6:17 pm
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baselineac
- Senior Member
- Posts: 1053
- Joined: Thu Sep 20, 2007 6:17 pm
Re: Jokes of the Day
A blonde walks into a chemists and asks the assistant for some rectum deodorant.
The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman that, they don't sell rectum deodorant and never have.
Un-phased, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis and would like some more.
'I'm sorry,' says the pharmacist, 'We don't have any.'
'But, I always buy it here,' says the blonde.
'Do you have the container that it came in?' asks the pharmacist.
'Yes,' said the blonde, 'I'll go home and get it.'
She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist who looks at it and says to her,
'This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant'.
Annoyed, the blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container .
'TO APPLY, PUSH UP BOTTOM.
The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman that, they don't sell rectum deodorant and never have.
Un-phased, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis and would like some more.
'I'm sorry,' says the pharmacist, 'We don't have any.'
'But, I always buy it here,' says the blonde.
'Do you have the container that it came in?' asks the pharmacist.
'Yes,' said the blonde, 'I'll go home and get it.'
She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist who looks at it and says to her,
'This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant'.
Annoyed, the blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container .
'TO APPLY, PUSH UP BOTTOM.
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baselineac
- Senior Member
- Posts: 1053
- Joined: Thu Sep 20, 2007 6:17 pm
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baselineac
- Senior Member
- Posts: 1053
- Joined: Thu Sep 20, 2007 6:17 pm
Re: Jokes of the Day
Why do men die first?
This is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries, but, now we know. It requires a bit of explanation, first:
If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race ... you're a male chauvinist. If you stay home and do the housework ... you're a pansy. If you work too hard ... there's never any time for her. If you don't work enough ..... you're a good-for-nothing bum. If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay ... this is exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay ..... you should get off your lazy behind and find something better. If you get a promotion ahead of her ... that is favouritism. If she gets a job ahead of you ..... its equal opportunity.
If you mention how nice she looks ... its sexual harassment. If you keep quiet ..... its male indifference. If you cry ... you're a wimp. If you don't . you're an insensitive bastard. If you make a decision without consulting her ..... you're a chauvinist.
If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman. If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy . that's domination. If SHE asks you ... it's a favor. If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear ..... you're a pervert. If you don't . you're gay.
If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape ... you're sexist. If you don't ... you're unromantic. If you try to keep yourself in shape .. you're vain. If you don't ... you're a slob. If you buy her flowers .... you're after something. If you don't ... you're not thoughtful. If you're proud of your achievements ... you're full of yourself. If you don't ... you're not ambitious. If she has a headache ... she's tired. If you have a headache . you don't love her anymore. If you want it too often ... you're oversexed. If you don't .... there must be someone else.
Why do men die first? Because they want to.
This is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries, but, now we know. It requires a bit of explanation, first:
If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race ... you're a male chauvinist. If you stay home and do the housework ... you're a pansy. If you work too hard ... there's never any time for her. If you don't work enough ..... you're a good-for-nothing bum. If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay ... this is exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay ..... you should get off your lazy behind and find something better. If you get a promotion ahead of her ... that is favouritism. If she gets a job ahead of you ..... its equal opportunity.
If you mention how nice she looks ... its sexual harassment. If you keep quiet ..... its male indifference. If you cry ... you're a wimp. If you don't . you're an insensitive bastard. If you make a decision without consulting her ..... you're a chauvinist.
If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman. If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy . that's domination. If SHE asks you ... it's a favor. If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear ..... you're a pervert. If you don't . you're gay.
If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape ... you're sexist. If you don't ... you're unromantic. If you try to keep yourself in shape .. you're vain. If you don't ... you're a slob. If you buy her flowers .... you're after something. If you don't ... you're not thoughtful. If you're proud of your achievements ... you're full of yourself. If you don't ... you're not ambitious. If she has a headache ... she's tired. If you have a headache . you don't love her anymore. If you want it too often ... you're oversexed. If you don't .... there must be someone else.
Why do men die first? Because they want to.
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*knightfox100*
- Senior Member
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- Joined: Tue Oct 16, 2007 8:33 pm
