GRRR Squad Forum

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RqZMew1OjwU&NR=1

Most of you have probably seen this compilation of excited boys sycho:

Shopping in a foreign country:











Gotta get me some of that Shito mix!! Yum!!

The 'Perfect Password'

A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the
appropriate point in the process, the computer advised him that he would
now need to enter a password. Something he will use to log on. The husband
was in a rather amorous mood and figured he would try for the shock
effect to bring this to his wife's attention. So, when the computer asked him
to enter his password, he made it plainly obvious to his wife what he was
entering by stating each letter out loud as he typed

P...E...N...I...S

His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied:

**** PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH***

One lines (kind of) by Mitch Hedburg (these are even funnier if you know how he speaks)

1. I like rice. Rice is great when you're hungry and you want 2,000 of something.

2. You know when it comes to racism, people say: " I don't care if they're black, white, purple or green"... Ooh hold on now: Purple or Green? You gotta draw the line somewhere! To hell with purple people! - Unless they're suffocating - then help'em

3.I saw a commercial on late night TV, it said,"Forget everything you know about slipcovers." So I did. And it was a load off my mind. Then the commercial tried to sell me slipcovers, and I didn't know what the hell they were.

4.(to audience) I like the way this is situated here. It seems like you guys were chasing me, closing in, and then said "fuck It, lets sit down

5.My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana, I said 'no' but I want a regular banana later, so 'yeah'

6. I love my fed-ex guy cause he's a drug dealer and he don't even know it...and he's ALWAYS on time!

7.I hope the next time I move I get a real easy phone number, something that's real easy to remember. Something like two two two two two two two two. I would say "Sweet." And then people would say, "Mitch, how do I get a hold of you?" I'd say, "Just press two for a while. And when I answer, you will know you have pressed two enough."

8.I bought a seven dollar pen because I always lose pens and I got sick of not caring.

9.I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.

10.I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long

11.My lucky number is four billion. That doesn't come in real handy when you're gambling. "Come on four billion! Fuck! Seven. Not even close. I need some more dice. Four billion divided by six, at least."

12.I wrote a script and gave it to a guy that reads scripts. And he read it and said he really likes it, but he thinks I need to rewrite it. I said, "Fuck that, I'll just make a copy."

13.Last time I called shot gun we had rented a limo, so I fucked up...

14.I bought a doughnut and they gave me a receipt for the doughnut. I don't need a receipt for a doughnut. I'll give you the money, you give me the doughnut—end of transaction. We do not need to bring ink and paper into this. I just cannot imagine a scenario where I would have to prove that I bought a doughnut. Some skeptical friend—"Don't even act like I didn't get that doughnut—I got the documentation right here! (pause) Oh wait, it's back home in the file…under 'D'…for doughnut." 'Cuz we all know that 'D' is for doughnut.

15. don't have a girlfriend. I just know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

16.I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific

17.I saw a human pyramid once. It was very unnecessary.

18.I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. You'll be mad, but it will be too late.

19.I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.

20.I'm gonna fix that last joke by taking out all the words and adding new ones.

21.If I had nine of my fingers missing I wouldn't type any slower

22.My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up. I don't really know what's happening down there. Who is the real hero?

23.My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

24.People teach their dogs to sit; it's a trick. I've been sitting my whole life, and a dog has never looked at me as though he thought I was tricky.

25.The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.

26.You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don't want to eat the fish, they just want to make it late for something.

I heard he died

Some youtube links to his standup:
Part1 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TBiNriy87OA&feature=related
Part2 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5VHMXG9XNoU&NR=1
Part3 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zgt1jnkpe7E&feature=related

Ja he died quite a while ago but he is still funny as shit

What's the difference between SA and the Titanic?

The Titanic went down with its lights on.

an englishman and a irishman sitting having a few drinks in a bar
the englishman saya to the irishman....dude if i had to go to your house now and shag your wife, she falls pregnant, and has a baby, would that make me and you related?
the irishman thinks for a little while and replies." err no it wont mate but it would sure make us even!

wife sms'es hubby
"if you can find me you can me"
"if you cant ... sycho: im hiding in the garage"

oh dear luckely being a comedian is your hobby