Jokes of the Day
Re: Jokes of the Day
beautiful scico, now we need one to respond to the doom and gloom ones (storm/highway stoning/bathroom raping etc)
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SlipperyDuck
- Posts: 11493
- Joined: Sat Jun 22, 1974 12:00 am
Re: Jokes of the Day
ALERT SOUTH AFRICAN CITIZENS
A meteor the size of Canada will be entering earths atmosphere at 14:32 today, as a result there will be a brief ice age, motorists are advised to leave work early today to avoid the gridlock associated with such disasters. The effects of the new Ice age will only be felt in Johannesburg(Santon, Germiston and Boksburg), Capetown (Only in Higgovale, Pinelands, Woodstock and Edgemead) Durban(Chatsworth, Durban North and Berea) and Bloemfontein (All Suburbs). The effects will begin being felt at approximately 15:01:27 GMT+2, businesses are advised to evacuate employees before this time to ensure safe passage home.
Many thanks
South African National Emergency Agency.
A meteor the size of Canada will be entering earths atmosphere at 14:32 today, as a result there will be a brief ice age, motorists are advised to leave work early today to avoid the gridlock associated with such disasters. The effects of the new Ice age will only be felt in Johannesburg(Santon, Germiston and Boksburg), Capetown (Only in Higgovale, Pinelands, Woodstock and Edgemead) Durban(Chatsworth, Durban North and Berea) and Bloemfontein (All Suburbs). The effects will begin being felt at approximately 15:01:27 GMT+2, businesses are advised to evacuate employees before this time to ensure safe passage home.
Many thanks
South African National Emergency Agency.
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I've only been wrong once, and that's when I thought I was wrong.
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I've only been wrong once, and that's when I thought I was wrong.
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scicopathix
Re: Jokes of the Day
NiteShade wrote: then your genitals would rot and fall off!!
Too late for you, then...
Re: Jokes of the Day
Candidate wrote:^^^ thats not funny, it is irresponsible
i thin k it weould be irresponsible if someone copy and pasted a NASA logo onto it, and then put an american sounding name with a sig at the bottom for authenticity
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scicopathix
Re: Jokes of the Day
They spend thousands of bucks, and years at varsity. And this is what they do with it...?
Also worth noting that only one isn't an American. And they were Brits.
The wacky experiments you rarely hear of...
November 01 2007 at 12:40AM
Paris - Elephants on LSD, sexual turn-ons for turkeys and attempts to restore corpses to life: these all feature on the list of the "craziest scientific experiments of all time", New Scientist reports.
Here is a selection from the Top Ten, appearing in this Saturday's issue of the British science magazine:
ELEPHANTS ON ACID: In 1962, United States researchers, curious about what might happen to an elephant injected with LSD, fired into a tusker a syringe-full of the drug, about 3 000 times the maximum dose for a human being.
The elephant trumpeted violently, keeled over and died within an hour, despite attempts to revive it with anti-psychotic drugs.
"It appears that the elephant is highly sensitive to the effects of LSD," the researchers sheepishly concluded, in a paper published by the August journal Science.
REVERSING DEATH: Seeking to restore life to the deceased, Robert Cornish, a University of California scientist in the 1930s, see-sawed corpses up and down to circulate the blood while injecting adrenalin and anti-coagulants.
Forced off the campus for his controversial experiments, Cornish continued at home, building a lab that included a heart-lung machine built out of a vacuum cleaner and radiator tubing.
Thomas McMonigle, a prisoner on death row, volunteered to be Cornish's guinea pig, but was turned down by the State of California, which worried that if McMonigle came back to life, he would have to be freed.
EYES WIDE OPEN: In 1960, University of Edinburgh sleep researcher Ian Oswald wondered if it was possible to sleep with one's eyes open. He got volunteers to lie down on a couch, taped their eyes open, placed a bank of flashing lights in front of them, attached electrodes to their legs to deliver painful shocks and blasted loud music into their ears.
Three plucky volunteers signed up for the experiment. Despite all the impediments to sleeping, an electro-encephalogram (EEG) monitor of their brain showed all fell asleep within 12 minutes.
TURKEY TURN-ONS: Pennsylvania State University's Martin Schein and Edgar Hale discovered that male turkeys, when placed in a room with a lifelike model of a female turkey, mated with the surrogate as eagerly as they would the real thing.
Schein and Hale experimented to see what was the minimum sexual stimulus, gradually removing parts from the model one by one until the male bird finally lost interest.
"Tail, feet and wings - Schein and Hale removed them all, but still the clueless bird waddled up to the model, let out an amorous gobble and tried to do his thing," says writer Alex Boese for New Scientist.
"Finally, only a head on a stick remained. The male turkey was still keen. In fact, it preferred a head on a stick to a headless body." - Sapa-AFP
Also worth noting that only one isn't an American. And they were Brits.
The wacky experiments you rarely hear of...
November 01 2007 at 12:40AM
Paris - Elephants on LSD, sexual turn-ons for turkeys and attempts to restore corpses to life: these all feature on the list of the "craziest scientific experiments of all time", New Scientist reports.
Here is a selection from the Top Ten, appearing in this Saturday's issue of the British science magazine:
ELEPHANTS ON ACID: In 1962, United States researchers, curious about what might happen to an elephant injected with LSD, fired into a tusker a syringe-full of the drug, about 3 000 times the maximum dose for a human being.
The elephant trumpeted violently, keeled over and died within an hour, despite attempts to revive it with anti-psychotic drugs.
"It appears that the elephant is highly sensitive to the effects of LSD," the researchers sheepishly concluded, in a paper published by the August journal Science.
REVERSING DEATH: Seeking to restore life to the deceased, Robert Cornish, a University of California scientist in the 1930s, see-sawed corpses up and down to circulate the blood while injecting adrenalin and anti-coagulants.
Forced off the campus for his controversial experiments, Cornish continued at home, building a lab that included a heart-lung machine built out of a vacuum cleaner and radiator tubing.
Thomas McMonigle, a prisoner on death row, volunteered to be Cornish's guinea pig, but was turned down by the State of California, which worried that if McMonigle came back to life, he would have to be freed.
EYES WIDE OPEN: In 1960, University of Edinburgh sleep researcher Ian Oswald wondered if it was possible to sleep with one's eyes open. He got volunteers to lie down on a couch, taped their eyes open, placed a bank of flashing lights in front of them, attached electrodes to their legs to deliver painful shocks and blasted loud music into their ears.
Three plucky volunteers signed up for the experiment. Despite all the impediments to sleeping, an electro-encephalogram (EEG) monitor of their brain showed all fell asleep within 12 minutes.
TURKEY TURN-ONS: Pennsylvania State University's Martin Schein and Edgar Hale discovered that male turkeys, when placed in a room with a lifelike model of a female turkey, mated with the surrogate as eagerly as they would the real thing.
Schein and Hale experimented to see what was the minimum sexual stimulus, gradually removing parts from the model one by one until the male bird finally lost interest.
"Tail, feet and wings - Schein and Hale removed them all, but still the clueless bird waddled up to the model, let out an amorous gobble and tried to do his thing," says writer Alex Boese for New Scientist.
"Finally, only a head on a stick remained. The male turkey was still keen. In fact, it preferred a head on a stick to a headless body." - Sapa-AFP
Re: Jokes of the Day
Now that is some funny shit. Except for killing an elephant with LSD. That's just horrible.
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scicopathix
Re: Jokes of the Day
Dr4g0nn3 wrote:Now that is some funny shit. Except for killing an elephant with LSD. That's just horrible.
WTF did they expect? 3000 the max dose for a human (as if there is a 'recommended dosage' of acid, a purely recreational drug).
Lets assume that we're talking about a typical rave junkie kiddy here, at around 60kg.
Maybe a 180 ton elephant would have survived. Average elly? About 5 tons. So feed a rave junkie kid 36 Acid stamps, and I bet he/she is dead in way less than an hour. I'd give it 10 minutes, tops. And you'd need an act of God to keep it alive, not anti-psychotics.
Besides which, I can see the similarities between the human central nervous system, and that of an elephant... can't you?
Megageth wrote:Head on a stick! *mega wolf whistles* So seeexy!
Yar. I was really turned on by that last scene in "Meet the sodier" (TF2 trailer)