GRRR Squad Forum

Wow, what is happening guys? I know I haven't been around like.. at all.. lately but this is a shock to me.
Grrr banter has been here since the beginning and as one of the female members I never took offense. However, I am a quite open-minded person.
Sometimes it gets more annoying than offensive in my opinion.

Please pull yourselves together and try to sort shit out. This is a really great clan (more like a family) and worth the effort!

This requires a response that should not be typed out on my cellphone so when i have a keyboard again, i will write a proper response. In the interim though, Jarrod, you are missing not one but at least two more weddings mate... :-)

I've had a lot of thought about this, and it's pretty hard to put into words but here goes...

The one grrrbian I've spent the most time squadding with is Hubris. I think he's a fine example of a player and a leader. What happened that evening on the [grrr] server was over the top though. As I understand, he had spent several hours trying to tweak the server to a point where it would be used. There's an abundance of CQ and Rush servers up already and his idea of setting up a dedicated squad DM server was quite brilliant.

The problem wasn't the usual banter that goes on. We all know how that goes and enjoy going along with it. The problem was him being left to do his best effort to keep the server balanced by hand (while not actually being in-game himself), and still having to endure bickering about unbalance. The situation was stacked against him - the balance script was screwed for SQDM and there were bugs in BF4 itself that he couldn't magically resolve as the admin. I can see how in that situation one could be overwhelmed by negativity. I heard some people giving instructions or suggestions about how the balance should be happening, but you can't just tweak a couple of settings to make a balance script work in a given way - it takes patience and hours of skilled programming work to tweak something like that.

As a relatively newcomer it's hard for me to really tell the long term sentiment here but it appeared to be the "last straw that breaks the camel's back."

<3 Stef.

Well it is quiet clear that without pointing any fingers Hubris is owe a big apology and that we all just need to be more consistent in squadding up and playing together as a clan and not just playing while being in a clan, there is a big difference.

The last two nights have been busy for me, I haven't even been able to test out my new GPU so I am hoping to come ruin your guys evening tonight

I think there are a number of issues here that need to be addressed.
There is the Issue of Hubris and the incident that caused his departure.
There is the issue of disrespect and offence.
There is is the issue of help and appreciation.
Out of these there comes the the issue of honesty.


Disrespect and offence is a very touchy subject.
We all like to say we have manners and don’t like to cause offense, yet in reality is simply not possible.
Why?
Because what is offensive to one is not offensive to another. What one considers rude, another considers normal.
Manners and offense is different for everyone. It has everything to do with your family group, your larger group of friends, the area you from, the culture you from, the religion you were brought up in and even what sex you are.
I have entire article i am writing on this issue which i will post when its done.
But simply put it boils down to a matter of taste.


The issue with offense is that it really is such a personal thing. Offense doesn't kill you, it simply is a person's reaction and in most case over reaction. We have manners and we use them in order to not offend people, yet it is not enough. People learning manners is only half the job. the other half is learning to let go of your own offense over an issue. Because most of the time what you are offended by was never done to you intentionally. Most of the time it is misunderstanding, and simple communication over the issue solves it quickly.


This is where honesty comes into it.


Its all well and good to sit there and say the level of disrespect is high.
Its all well and good to say the tuning is too much you don’t like yet.
Yet with out you actually saying to the person and in the situation that hey, listen dude i think you going a bit far i find that a bit much and to me that offensive, most of the time the person can not know.
We need more honesty in this clan, about everything.


I am loud opinionated person. I swear like trooper and i have a non conformists view of the world.
Which means my views are not the majority views. My senses of humour is very dry and sarcastic. I use calling people swear word names as a term of endearment.
It is just my way.
Yes i do know that how i am can be extremely offensive sometimes to some people. Yet i can not know that and be aware of that all the time. Nor can anyone.
As i said above learn to manage your offense. If after trying that you are still offended talk to the person. Be honest. Say what you feel.
The people in this clan are good people and unless its some major incident you will quickly get an apology and probably more.


I find in my general life and in this clan the lack of open communication and upfront honesty the biggest stumbling block. The world is so conditioned to this no offense, don't say anything, keep quiet, don't rattle the cage, whisper behind the back, don't talk about this in public thing. Its no surprise politics are such a stuff up, why people get hurt, why friends turn to enemies, why there is constant misunderstanding and war in this world.
I encourage all of you to wake up to this simple fact.
Tell the truth even if it hurts. Tell the truth even if it costs you. In the end it will always be the best way forward.


As for appreciation in this clan and people helping out.
The bottom line is this clan would not be clan without Ducky.
We all know this. He puts the most in, the website, the signatures, the TS server, yearly DVD.. and and. I think we show him appreciation yearly at rage. We probably could do it more often
Jarrod J-thang is the next guy that puts in time. Without him our we wouldn't be able to manage finances for things like rage, help guys with pc parts and so on.
Down from there i think everyone helps out. This ok helps that guy on how to play.
that guy gets this part for another guy. Helps him with pricing.
I think the level of help and support in this clan is awesome.


As for what Hubris does. Yes he contributes a lot to the competitive environment. He is an awesome guy and deserves our appreciation.
Yet getting overly offended by that lack of appreciation… see above about offence.


I can also claim the same thing. last year i busted my but to organise the BF3 team, organized practices, prac matches, the games and more. Besides the occasional help from Paul with reminders i pretty much did that all on my own.
Mostly what i got out of it was a fuck you, QB arguments about when to play, and a pain in the arse from oks not responding and doing the simplest of requests.
I didn't even get a hey QB thanks for what you did at the annual appreciation event rage braai.


I mention this not because i want appreciation now.
I did the job for the jobs sake not for what i would get out of it.
I mention it as an example of managing offense.
Yes i took offense at that, but really it is my offense. I know nobody didn't thank me out of spite. I also know oks are gamers and have lives, and my efforts were not scorned of of disrespect, just out of that how things go. I also know i could of done a better Job.
So i put it aside and really is a non issue for me.


Hubris deserves an apology from who ever he fought with.
He also deserves some honesty from all of, as does the whole situation.
Lets all stop beating around the bush.
U2M was apparently the major cause of the argument, so lets call it like it is.
Mark is opinionated and abrasive. people know that. If is an issue for any specific person take it up with him. If not drop it.


Hubris himself is in a limbo stage of his life, searching for a direction. I think this incident also just highlighted that for him.
I love Steff, but if he needs to get mad and go off the radar for a while, then thats what he needs.
He is a gamer and part of our family and i am sure he will be back.
I think hubris need less of our appreciation and more of our support in helping him find his path.


Anyway a long winded lot to read, but i hope you all do read it and understand what i am saying.


If you have an issue with what i say or do in the context of the clan.
Say so to me.
Be specific please.
I promise to listen and i promise to try and accommodate your wishes, with in reason.
I will do the same.




Peace out.
And Phatso thank you bring this topic up, it need to be discussed.
I think you doing a great Job as a leader! My only comment would be you cant control everything.

That was beautiful QB.

I honestly want to say that Tyger is a wrong!!!!


No I joke he is right, that is one of my flaws (what Paul is not perfect?!!), there are some things where I will tell it like it is but there are other times and sometimes they are more important where I won't say anything because I don't want the trouble.

If you take anything out from Tyger massive wall it is that if you have an issue, deal with it there and then. Rather have a day or 2 (if that ) of tension and get it sorted than let it fester into a nagging issue.


Word of warning to the DGL team, we are going to have fun this year but if you fuck up the enjoyment for other people in what ever form that takes (late for pracs, not following the orders etc) I will be calling you out on it (and I expect the same from the team if I step out of line)

Yep - The culture of Apethy is a soul killer for anyone who tries things for said people, things that make their lives better and with their interests in mind - it has been around for years, so many years, so much so that I don't think it is uncommon anywhere else in this country, I'd dare to say you will find the same in every clan out there, even top tier.

The other culture problem, generic though, not necessarily aimed at us in this discussion, is the culture of consumer/take but provide nothing, this culture of entitlement where people are happy to take it all, take no heed as to what was required to provide and then complain when they don't get the product/service at the time of their liking. Then when asked to add 5 seconds of their day to it, or contribute R1.00 to the 'thing', flat out reject the notion.....'monkey take, monkey no do' - This is a 'todays culture' thing, but it filters down into everything. -- grates me BAD though, REAL BAD.
The result is that there is less that 0.01% of our population that will take any sort of initiative in doing anything these days, and also creates this apathetic problem as a knock on effect.

Anyway, thats my 2c for the day.

My final thought for the day is this "Joining this clan is like any relationship, treat this clan like you would treat the girl of your dreams and this Clan WILL BE the girl of your dreams - it's a Karma thing"

My small input:

Don't tell a guy how he should play the game so it can benefit you. He bought the game with his own money, if he wishes he can go stand in the corner of the map and count the leaves on a tree if he wants. If you don't get ressed don't bitch about it for the rest of the map, if he doesnt res you then he is probably busy engaging enemies or is keeping his gun out for a enemy he knows is nearby. He wont just drop what he is doing to res your royal ass.

I have noticed one or two people doing this. Just saying..... /rant over

From a relatively new grrr member, i'll be honest, it is sometimes tough to understand your place, or where you can help out or even add value to the clan.

Maybe some threads or topics, setup like a kanban board that has some tasks or places where clan mates can help out. You aren't forced to do anything, but if you have some time and are willing, you can just pick a task off the backlog and help out with some clan related stuff.