Hey all,
Thought it would be a good idea to give you all a little update on my situation. A few of you know all of the details, but for the rest, here’s how it goes.
This isn’t easy to put down, but I’d like you all to know why things have been the way that they have with me for quite a while now.
A short while after I started this thread, I had a little bit of an ‘incident’. Basically, without going into any details, I had something of a breakdown. This happened on the 2[SUP]nd[/SUP] of May.
As a result, I spent some time speaking to a shrink, and was diagnosed with depression and chronic anxiety, caused predominantly by the isolation that I was experiencing being on my own in Jozi so much, while working in a relatively hostile environment. I was booked off work for a few weeks, and put on anti-depressants, something that I’ll have to continue with for at least 12 months.
The good news is that I’m a lot better now than I was. I’m not sure how long I was depressed for, but I reckon it was about a year before things came to a head.
In order to ensure that I don’t end up back in the same position as I was, Camilla and I have made a decision that I need to get out of my current working environment as soon as possible. As a result we have put our house on the market, and once we have found a buyer, we will be moving the family to Sweden. The reasons for this are as follows:
- In Sweden, Camilla will be able to find work that pays a reasonable salary. As a relatively unskilled worker, she would be unable to earn a salary in South Africa that would be worth it, once child care was taken off. This will enable her to contribute towards the family economy, and take some of the pressure off me
- The social benefits system in Sweden will help us financially. As an example, medical is free, as is education (up to an including university). As it stands right now, these two things cost me about R11K a month. Not having to spend this money would be immense!!
- They will pay me to be a stay at home dad. Crazy as it sounds, up until the kids are 8 years old, the state will pay R250 per day (including weekends) for parents to stay at home and raise their kids. That translates to ~R7500 a month (tax free) for me to stay at home
- The government provides a SFI (Swedish for Immigrants) course for all immigrants moving to the country. I should be able to learn the language in ~6 months, all the while being paid to be a stay at home dad.
- Once I am fluent enough in Swedish, I aim to ‘repackage’ myself and look for work in a less demanding roles than what I currently do. One of the biggest lessons that I have learned over the last couple of months is that my family is what’s important, and I don’t want to be a slave to work any longer. I would much rather have less, but be a happy man, with a well balanced family life.
I have started looking for jobs in Sweden, on the off chance that I could find something that I could land with. Obviously landing there with a job lined up would be better in the short term, and would ease the financial worries that would accompany us if we arrived with nothing. As it stands though, we’ll be leaving once the house is sold, regardless of whether or not I have work.
We haven’t had any offers on the place as yet, and I expect that it could take anything up to a year to sell, and I will do everything I need to until that happens to keep myself sane. To that end, we’ve cancelled the lease on my flat in Jozi, and I will no longer be travelling up there on a weekly basis. I simply couldn’t cope with that. I will be working on project based work from now on, going wherever I’m needed, but not managing a single hard arsed client. I’ll be up in Jozi next week for a few days (in case anyone fancies getting together for drinks/dinner?), and am scheduled to spend a couple of weeks in Saudi from mid-July (sunny days in the world’s sandpit). And for the rest I intend to spend as much time as I can in Cape Town, while I still have the pleasure of living in one of the world’s most beautiful cities.
Anyway guys, I hope this goes some way to explaining why I was so removed from the clan and social interaction for so long. One of the classic symptoms of depression (I have been told) is a gradual withdrawal into oneself, pulling away from friends and family. I did this to my family, and to my friends in this clan. The best news is that I’m feeling positive again (those drugs really work!!), I’m sleeping properly, getting plenty of exercise and enjoying life again.
I don’t know if I’m really ready to get back into online gaming again yet, but I am finding the time (and energy) to get back onto the shoutbox and forums again.
Anyway, sorry for the long post, I just thought you all deserved to know what was going on with me. Thanks to you all for being my friends, you guys mean more to me than you know.
