Application to join Grrr

[Hubris]

Attention please Honourable Grrrs,

I've been playing BC2 the past two weeks or so with a couple of your clan members... I am 24 (read nooblet), of the male variety and live in Centurion. I grew up in Durban and infiltrated regions behind the boerewors curtain to enjoy the spoils associated with telecommunications and project management.

I am keen on FPS games and dabble in the odd RTS. I also play FIFA, Halo Reach and other games on XBox Live. I used to play Battlefield 2 and Battlefield 2142. I'm really looking forward to Bad Company Vietnam and Battlefield 3. I am single (duh).

I would love to join your clan and carry the venerable grrr tag into battle against hordes of baddies. Please be assured that I am human; there is no history of gorilla in my family or sexual relations with prawns for that matter. I throw down lunchboxes for hungry teamies, make great cannon fodder and avenge fallen comrades with a triumphant and disheartening shout of "SLEEEP"! I also work hard to achieve schneaky back-caps, squad spawns and positions favouring nom-nom-noms.

I played for clan torment in the BC2 DoGaming league and left after a couple weeks of abuse Coming from that environment and given even this small exposure to grrr, I can say confidently that this is a truly awesome clan. The guys I have had the chance to play with have been amazingly welcoming, hilarious and willing to tolerate my special brand of insanity. That's you s3xy_jonny, Paul, NightShade, Geth, SlipperyDuck, Onyx, Dragonne, Flycatchr, Pmurgs and Voetsek-Mikey

I am offering banter allegiances, drinks and inappropriate or sexual favours* as part of my application campaign sycho: I am also willing to partake in any rituals of initiation that may apply, however illegal or liver destroying. Thanks for the opportunity to play with you guys, warble like Dr Zoidberg on TS and spam/crash your shout box to my heart's content.


Yours sincerely and with many hopezors,

Stefan Griesel / Hubris_za


*Bromance is limited to Sharks fans and those willing to renounce their Bulls or Province heresy and embrace the gospel of the Sharks in accordance with this non-gay disclaimer.

[Paul]

Dude you have no idea about the abuse that is about to hit you. But do not fret, it is necessary to make sure that only the truly insane are permitted into the clan.

Firstly, in the questions that follow, there might be mention of me along with disparaging remarks, these are trick questions, these people don’t hate me, they love me. They hate j0nny.

Anyway here are my questions

1. How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck was under fire from an M60 or Carl Gustav?
2. Even though you are a sharks supporter I will assume you know a bit about rugby, tell why is Richie “Dickie” McCraw the most foul human being to ever have walked the face of this earth and what weapon would you use to smash his face in with?
3. Name all the colours of the rainbow, normal rainbows, not LCD trip rainbows
4. What was your BF2 nick?

[Phatso]

Nice application. I enjoyed your over-use of the word sexual. Your writing skills and vocabulary are quite good.. for a "human".
*clicks fingers*

Now to unleash a flurry of abuse. Failing to answer these questions will lead in your timely demise. Answer carefully.

1. Who the f*ck am I?
2. (based on Paul's questions)... What is an "LCD trip rainbows"?
3. Centurion eh? Where do you unwind if not in front of your PC.
4. What games do you foresee yourself playing in the next 5 years?
5. Do you mind people who play WoW?

[Onyx]

According to the wiki 'Hubris' means the following:

"...extreme haughtiness or arrogance. Hubris often indicates being out of touch with reality and overestimating one's own competence or capabilities, especially for people in positions of power."

Furthermore...

"hubris refers to actions that shames and humiliates the victim for the pleasure or gratification of the abuser."

and lastly....

"denotes overconfident pride and arrogance; it is often associated with a lack of humility."


So my questions to you are:

1. Why did you choose this nick? Why not keep the BF2 one?
2. How do you think you will fit in with the [grrr] clan?


P.S. The Bulls are still the best

[Stu]

Hi Hubris

We have yet to be officially introduced however I will endeavour to rectify this in the coming days/weeks/months. Please consider the questions below and answer them to the best of your ability and with as much humour as possible...

1. What is the average velocity of a sparrow carrying a coconut?
2. Was the invasion of Afghanistan and Iraq legitimate in your opinion and in the eye's of the UN?
3. What is your opinion on superpowers forcing their ideals and 'way' of life on the rest of the world's nations?
4. Have you watched zeitgeist and if so what were your initial perception?
5. Have you watched What the Bleed We Know? And do you believe in Quantum Mechanics?
6. Question removed by Admin... additional question added... if j0nny goes to work in a pink shirt is he considered gay or queer?

[s3xy_j0nny]

Pay attention! The following questions are the most important that you will be asked in this thread:

1. In BC2, which weapon do you most hate being killed by?

2. Given a choice between Marmite and Bovril, which would you rather eat daily for the rest of your life and why?

3. If + = , then + = ?

[SlipperyDuck]

Two Very important Questions for now:

1. I start with the letter e, I end with the letter e. I contain only one letter, yet I am not the letter e! What am I?

2. Ten free gift bags on a table, Ten people walked passed the table, Each took a gift bag. At the end of the day, nine gift bags
remain on the table. How can that be?

[J_Th4ng]

Hey Hubris, nice to get your application.

Okay, time to throw my questions into the mix...

1. Explain, by means of an essay (not less than 300 words), why Western Province are destined to win the Currie Cup Final in Durban
2. What is your gaming history? How long have you been playing, what genres do you like (or is it FPS only?), why the 360? What are your favourite game titles from the past? Also, what upcoming titles are you most looking forward to?
3. Why [grrr]? Before squadding with us, what made you think that we were a clan worth investigating? If we were to accept you, you'd bring the average age of the clan down, how do you feel about clanning with people who are (mostly) in their thirties/verging on fourties?
4. How is it that Lee is without a doubt the coolest duck in existance?
5. J0nny or Johnny?

That'll do for now

[Thor_23]

My turn....

1. How do you feel about german interracial midget porn?
2. Were you at rage?
3. what type of project management exactly?
4. How do you feel about road rage?
5. what type of dangerous gass can be found underground in a coal mine?
6. if you could stay anywhere in SA, where would that be(please justify)?
7. how regularly do you "teabag" someone?
8. do you work for HP?

Thats it from me for now.....

[Hubris]

Paul,

Q1: Trick question, a woodchuck is a rodent. sycho: Rodents have no access to the field of battle. If a woodchuck were to find itself on the business end of an M60 or Carl Gustav, I doubt there would be much chucking of wood due to the unparalleled power these weapons apply in the ridiculous time-frames they apply it. Although it may be argued that a woodchuck is small, furry and even mythical in nature; thus might find cover and sympathy from noobs (the typical bearers of said weapons) relatively easily. I therefore say 0 to 0.01 units of wood chucked, unless wood is defined by a more deviant author in which case wood chucked is thankfully indeterminate.

Q2: Richie “Dickie” McCraw is indeed a villain without compare. Not only is he from Australasia , he has captained the Crusaders and All Blacks to numerous victories over local teams and the blessed Boks. Although these are teams worthy of respect, there is no doubt in my mind that he, along with other foul Australasians, have been key instruments in bringing the game on the ground into disrepute and I believe had a deciding hand in the ridiculous "touch, ok we're pausing.... wait for it... pause, engage" scrum technique.

I also suspect he was a key instigator of the "Butch James gets a yellow card first tackle no matter what" rule. Dickie talks left and walks right, always working the ref and using his manly man-charms to win calls that go against other teams. Whenever you see the ever-present emerging from a clearly SA ruck with the ball, the ref immediately becomes moist and often awards advantage to Dickie - you can't help but call HAX

For the sake of brevity, let's avoid the topic of his IRB Rugby Player of the Year award. Given the chance, a get out of jail free card and a lot of beer - I'd use the Web Ellis trophy after the Boks plough the Blacks in Christchurch. Choke, ahem

Q3: Easy! Purple, dark-blue, light-blue, green, yellow, red and ginger

Q4: I used to play BF2 on my mate's account until he allowed me to create my own soldier. His account was NoMaD, I later used Chevelle_za. I didn't play BF2 religiously but got quite into 2142. I used Legion_za in 2142. In the omnipotencey of youth, I didn't see the importance of keeping a nick.