Paul has my tags and i want them back!!

[kalgat]

All Hail

I ran into Irish Luck last night while playing and he was one of the few high level players that actually died when i put the required number of rounds into him... and this reminded me that i looked you guys up a while back but didnt apply at the time but i did like this from your clan description.

No Hax. - If you use them, go away - period.

Anyway i've been gaming since Lords of Midnight on the ZX Spectrum up to the BF4 Alpha and swearing at every single game in between and quite possibly have an addiction to Steam sales.

So fire away and lets see if i fit in to this madhouse

[Skouperd]

Describe in detail how you managed to lose your tags to paul because not even a baby kangaroo can lose anything to Paul? (except perhaps its virginity but that's another story...)

[kalgat]

Describe in detail how you managed to lose your tags to paul because not even a baby kangaroo can lose anything to Paul? (except perhaps its virginity but that's another story...)

It was a lovely Wednesday afternoon in May, the sun was shining and the bunnies were all around then all of a sudden *Happy Place* *Happy Place* *Happy Place* No Sorry, its gone or repressed it was so vile...

[BadA$$jack]

Dude, it sounds more like you lost your viginity than you tags !!!!

Give more detail about yourself

1. Real Name
2. Age
3. Which clans have you played for?
4. Your intention of joining - casual gamer or hardcore pro?

[kalgat]

Dude, it sounds more like you lost your viginity than you tags !!!!

Give more detail about yourself

1. Real Name
2. Age
3. Which clans have you played for?
4. Your intention of joining - casual gamer or hardcore pro?

Tags are precious, especially the ones from cheats and hackers or really good players (It's hard to tell hopefully BF4 will fix it)

1. Nick Mcghee
2. 42 Fuck me 30 years of gaming and still going strong
3. None
4. That would be for the clan to decide if im a good enough team player

[SlipperyDuck]

Ha! Awesome Kalgat, glad to see you're attempting to join, Good luck with the Application - 2 Weeks of pain coming your way.
I see a glint though, a glimmer of hope, a glow of aspiration, a grasping of simple sentences and a grape for the making of the whine - Thats a better 4G statement than you'll ever read.

(the secret is either spotted or not, There will be a Grammar Nazi watching)

1. How do you know when you've reached the end of the internet.

[Paul]

Are you sure it was me who took your tags? All noobs look the same

[Stu]

Are you sure it was me who took your tags? All noobs look the same

by noobs Paul is referring to himself.

Welcome to the application process!

Questions:
1. Explain what a Hoffman Transfer is and why it was a epic feat in the late 60's?
2. Would you rather: Hug a drunk Bergie or have a drink with Paul?

[kalgat]

Ha! Awesome Kalgat, glad to see you're attempting to join, Good luck with the Application - 2 Weeks of pain coming your way.
I see a glint though, a glimmer of hope, a glow of aspiration, a grasping of simple sentences and a grape for the making of the whine - Thats a better 4G statement than you'll ever read.

(the secret is either spotted or not, There will be a Grammar Nazi watching)

1. How do you know when you've reached the end of the internet.

There will be a really big full stop.

[Irish_Luck28]

Kalgat!
Had some good battles with you last night, nice to see you applied.
Questions:
1. You name dropped twice in your application. Why is name dropping bad? Feel free to discuss the negative social and political aspects of this in the South African context.
2. Why is grass green?

[kalgat]

Are you sure it was me who took your tags? All noobs look the same

Yes it was you, i thought i had yours but i was mistaken http://bf3stats.com/stats_pc/kalgat/dogtags

[kalgat]

by noobs Paul is referring to himself.

Welcome to the application process!

Questions:
1. Explain what a Hoffman Transfer is and why it was a epic feat in the late 60's?
2. Would you rather: Hug a drunk Bergie or have a drink with Paul?

1. No idea, unless you are referring to a Hohmann Transfer which is the calculation used to get the apollo missions from earth orbit to the moons orbit
2. Have a drink with Paul unless Paul also drinks cheap wine/meths :gag:

[kalgat]

Kalgat!
Had some good battles with you last night, nice to see you applied.
Questions:
1. You name dropped twice in your application. Why is name dropping bad? Feel free to discuss the negative social and political aspects of this in the South African context.
2. Why is grass green?

1. How can it be bad, it would seem the entire ruling party is based on name dropping and cronyism to get ahead. Just look at the wonderful levels of service delivery and education they are giving to everyone and letting our sportsman play on merit! I'ts all working out wonderfully for Julius
2. Chlorophyll makes grass green and there might be some in this!
503

[Morphza]

I ran into Irish Luck last night while playing and he was one of the few high level players that actually died when i put the required number of rounds into him...

I do apologise for this, we normally only recruit ELITE players, but Irish has somehow fallen through our recruitment cracks! Management is looking into this... :P

Q1: How do you intend obtaining BF4 Alpha Keys for the clan?
Q2: Source of your in game nick? Undercompensating / Overcompensating.. explain.

[BigBadBarts]

Sup kalgat, welcome and good luck...

1) In the May of 1953 Sir Edmund Hillary and his Nepalese sherpar Tenzing Norgay made the 1st successful ascent on Mount Everest, please tell me why Sir Hillary chose Tenzing (otherwise known as Sherpar Norgay) for the expedition and how it came about that Hillary and Norgay were chosen for the successful ascent, seen as though there were 398 other people in the John Hunt expidition?

2) Why also is there no record, i.e. proof/evidence of Sir Hillary successfully ascending on the summit, while there is clear evidence of Tenzing making the summit successfully?

3) Getting kalgat is one of my favourite past times...which South African opened the first nudist colony/resort in RSA, where was it and why is his name so ironic?

4) Lastly, do you have copious amounts of porn to offer or trade...I'm a collector and I need my fix, my 4Tb may be ample for others, some even say overkill, but I disagree you can never have enough of the muff.

[kalgat]

I do apologise for this, we normally only recruit ELITE players, but Irish has somehow fallen through our recruitment cracks! Management is looking into this... :P

Q1: How do you intend obtaining BF4 Alpha Keys for the clan?
Q2: Source of your in game nick? Undercompensating / Overcompensating.. explain.

Elite Players? Crap i'm in trouble then took me ages to turn my k/d into a positive one...

Q1: You are welcome to have mine, one map that was whiter than a very white thing, broken tanks and OP choppers. Big ass sniper rifle was cool though
Q2: I really should make up an exciting story but then you get caught lying etc. I used to play NTN pub trivia a lot and needed a unique screen name, one night after a few too many we started messing around with the filth filter to see how thorough they had been and some how i ended up with kalgat (spelled wrong because you were only allowed 6 letter names).

[kalgat]

Sup kalgat, welcome and good luck...

1) In the May of 1953 Sir Edmund Hillary and his Nepalese sherpar Tenzing Norgay made the 1st successful ascent on Mount Everest, please tell me why Sir Hillary chose Tenzing (otherwise known as Sherpar Norgay) for the expedition and how it came about that Hillary and Norgay were chosen for the successful ascent, seen as though there were 398 other people in the John Hunt expidition?

2) Why also is there no record, i.e. proof/evidence of Sir Hillary successfully ascending on the summit, while there is clear evidence of Tenzing making the summit successfully?

3) Getting kalgat is one of my favourite past times...which South African opened the first nudist colony/resort in RSA, where was it and why is his name so ironic?

4) Lastly, do you have copious amounts of porn to offer or trade...I'm a collector and I need my fix, my 4Tb may be ample for others, some even say overkill, but I disagree you can never have enough of the muff.

Thanks

1. I would have to go with eenie, meenie, mineie mo... although Mallory and Irvine may have made the first successful ascent, they just didn't get back down

2. Tenzing didnt know how to use a camera so could not catch Sir Hillary striking a pose

3. Famously known as Beau Brummel real name Michael Bush :bigrofl: It was in the Waterberg, Limpopo

4. That would depend are you into the straight up and down or hairy preggos in latex blowing a horse kinda thing?

[BigBadBarts]

Thanks

1. I would have to go with eenie, meenie, mineie mo... although Mallory and Irvine may have made the first successful ascent, they just didn't get back down

2. Tenzing didnt know how to use a camera so could not catch Sir Hillary striking a pose

3. Famously known as Beau Brummel real name Michael Bush :bigrofl: It was in the Waterberg, Limpopo

4. That would depend are you into the straight up and down or hairy preggos in latex blowing a horse kinda thing?

1. Close but he chose him because Tenzing saved his life...but I can see how eenie, meenie, mineie mo could work. Yeah, Mallory and Irvine tried in the 1920's but its widely known the oxygen canisters they took wouldn't have given them enough to reach the summit, based on the flow rate settings available on those models. And to be fair, Irvine's camera has never been found not to mention his body even.

2. Nice...only person I've come across to know that. Although, Tenzing did offer to take his pic, Hillary declined.

3. FML !! You're on a roll china...I like your work, but why was is name ironic?

4. I would like to call it straight but with the amount of rear entry flicks I have, it would fall under the category slightly bent. LOL !! Definitely, no bestiality, , no necrophilia, nothing under age and definitely no preggo bitches...hairy though is making a massive come back and as a connoisseur with a flare for the 70's and 80's classics, I'll gladly take some hairy off your hands.

Bud, I have to say I was impressed...good answers and purely on your name and feedback, you're ticking all the boxes in my book.

[TygerBS]

Hi Kalgat

1. Why is paul such a duche?
2. Stu thinks he is a ninja. How many 5 years old's do you think it would take to beat him?
3. Is it just a co-incidence that Jono and Homo rhyme?
4. 5 best games ever?

[RussianElite.]

4. I would like to call it straight but with the amount of rear entry flicks I have, it would fall under the category slightly bent. LOL !! Definitely, no bestiality, , no necrophilia, nothing under age and definitely no preggo bitches...hairy though is making a massive come back and as a connoisseur with a flare for the 70's and 80's classics, I'll gladly take some hairy off your hands.

Bud, I have to say I was impressed...good answers and purely on your name and feedback, you're ticking all the boxes in my book.

504

[Irish_Luck28]

1. How can it be bad, it would seem the entire ruling party is based on name dropping and cronyism to get ahead. Just look at the wonderful levels of service delivery and education they are giving to everyone and letting our sportsman play on merit! I'ts all working out wonderfully for Julius
2. Chlorophyll makes grass green and there might be some in this!
503

1. Correct! If you name drop and get free/cheap shit you are winning! If people complain, it is because they are losing. Damn losers.
2. Correct! I need tougher questions next time.

[BigBadBarts]

504

Bwahahahahaha....Russ, you don't like hairy muffs I take it?

[RussianElite.]

Bwahahahahaha....Russ, you don't like hairy muffs I take it?

Not the hairy ones thank you very much :P

p.s before Paul gets clever, they must be over eighteen and female.

[Skouperd]

Ok, let's get the real questions going:

1. Explain all correlations IQ has with the topic of procreation. Please go beyond the normal findings such as the inverse correlation between IQ and the number of offspring. Include in your thesis the rational between your porn size collection and IQ.

2. Please post a picture of the insides of your computer. Some members in GRRR suffer from OCD...

3. Explain the best way to tie up an 100m electric cord for easy deployment when needed. Using this same electic cord, explain how you will inflict maximum damage to anybody trying to steal your tags again.

4. List the first 10 games you've ever played for more than a 100 hours.

5. Assume your screen is capable of 256 color display, and has a resolution of 800 x 600, how many picutres / documents would you be able to generate? You do realise that several of those images will provide an accurate description of your death, in your handwriting, with a picture of you and your signature at the bottom... show your calculations.

6. Will you screw a dead chicken, explain your response.

That should do it for now...

[RussianElite.]

Here comes the dead chicken again :P

[flycatchr]

heya Kalgat, please explain what a hairy blender is, and which optional mouse function gives it more pleasure.

[kalgat]

1. Close but he chose him because Tenzing saved his life...but I can see how eenie, meenie, mineie mo could work. Yeah, Mallory and Irvine tried in the 1920's but its widely known the oxygen canisters they took wouldn't have given them enough to reach the summit, based on the flow rate settings available on those models. And to be fair, Irvine's camera has never been found not to mention his body even.

2. Nice...only person I've come across to know that. Although, Tenzing did offer to take his pic, Hillary declined.

3. FML !! You're on a roll china...I like your work, but why was is name ironic?

4. I would like to call it straight but with the amount of rear entry flicks I have, it would fall under the category slightly bent. LOL !! Definitely, no bestiality, , no necrophilia, nothing under age and definitely no preggo bitches...hairy though is making a massive come back and as a connoisseur with a flare for the 70's and 80's classics, I'll gladly take some hairy off your hands.

Bud, I have to say I was impressed...good answers and purely on your name and feedback, you're ticking all the boxes in my book.

In rebuttal

2. I think Hillary was being just being a good chap, if i'd just climbed Everest i would want a top-of-the-world-ma pic

3. Mr Bush was obviously a fan of the back, sack and crack and a pioneer of the shaven haven?

4. Had to laugh, i remember that description from a site i saw many years ago i believe it described the "bizarre" category, sadly the porn is gone even the VHS tapes which im sure suprised the hell out of someone when they opened the box at the dump...

[BigBadBarts]

In rebuttal

2. I think Hillary was being just being a good chap, if i'd just climbed Everest i would want a top-of-the-world-ma pic

3. Mr Bush was obviously a fan of the back, sack and crack and a pioneer of the shaven haven?

4. Had to laugh, i remember that description from a site i saw many years ago i believe it described the "bizarre" category, sadly the porn is gone even the VHS tapes which im sure suprised the hell out of someone when they opened the box at the dump...

2. 100 cement china, I agree...I'd get...wait for it...kalgat for the pic. LOL !

3. I was referring to his pseudonym aka Beau Brummel rather than Mr Bush. The irony of his name is that took it from George Bryan "Beau" Brummell who was an 18th century iconic figure in Regency England for none other than being the arbiter of mens fashion. You seeing where this is going?

"He established the mode of dress for men that rejected overly ornate fashions for one of understated, but perfectly fitted and tailored clothing. This look was based on dark coats, full-length trousers rather than knee breeches and stockings, and above all immaculate shirt linen and an elaborately knotted cravat.[1]
Beau Brummell is credited with introducing, and establishing as fashion, the modern men's suit, worn with a necktie.[2] He claimed he took five hours a day to dress, and recommended that boots be polished with champagne.[3] His style of dress is often referred to as dandyism.[4]"

4. Ah man, VHS tapes...now I wish I worked at the dump, only kidding. Listen, if you're all out...just send me a little message and let me know what you, I got your back pal. ;-)

[Morphza]

Listen, if you're all out...just send me a little message and let me know what you, I got your back pal. ;-)

"The first one is free... " :D

[kalgat]

heya Kalgat, please explain what a hairy blender is, and which optional mouse function gives it more pleasure.

That would be the ancient art of the rotating teabag which in my case would be made all the more pleasurable by the little red button on my RAT7 which can bump the DPI up to 6400

[kalgat]

Hi Kalgat

1. Why is paul such a duche?
2. Stu thinks he is a ninja. How many 5 years old's do you think it would take to beat him?
3. Is it just a co-incidence that Jono and Homo rhyme?
4. 5 best games ever?

1. Because he has my Tags
2. I thought that was only legal in Thailand and that you had to pay extra
3. No, because they don't, does rhyme with Bono though and he is No. 2
4. I'm too old for a question like this and i have another question with 100hrs plus games aaarggh!! In no particular order:
Elite - ZX Spectrum
Baldurs Gate
Half Life
NFS - whole series but if i had to pick then Shift 2
Battlefield 3/Eve Online

[Paul]

100hrs? Pfft, come speak to me when you have 1000 Plus hours in BF2 and 800 Plus hours in BF3

[RussianElite.]

Half Life was a good answer. Tell me this, which one of the three is a dickbag: TygerQB,Stu or Paul?

[pmurgs]

How many shield generators in an Amp Station?
What class would you pick to Sundy drop?
Flak armour or nanoweave?
What is the redeploy key?
How many soldiers in a platoon?

[kalgat]

How many shield generators in an Amp Station?
What class would you pick to Sundy drop?
Flak armour or nanoweave?
What is the redeploy key?
How many soldiers in a platoon?

Planetside 2 didnt run well on the laptop so only got limited play, its been a while

1. 2
2. Engi
3. Flak to avoid splash and ap mines
4. B?
5. 12 - 48

[flycatchr]

That would be the ancient art of the rotating teabag which in my case would be made all the more pleasurable by the little red button on my RAT7 which can bump the DPI up to 6400
AINCIENT ???? I am not that old :)

[Morphza]

AINCIENT ???? I am not that old :)

No... but an English lesson or two would be good... "Aincient" :D

Kalgat... why would you want to be associated with this mad pack of maniacs?

[RussianElite.]

Half Life was a good answer. Tell me this, which one of the three is a dickbag: TygerQB,Stu or Paul?

?

[pmurgs]

Planetside 2 didnt run well on the laptop so only got limited play, its been a while

1. 2
2. Engi
3. Flak to avoid splash and ap mines
4. B?
5. 12 - 48

4. The delete key
5. 13 to 48

But well done, at least you've tried ps2 :)

Gaming on a laptop? Is that even allowed in Grrr???

[kalgat]

Ok, let's get the real questions going:

1. Explain all correlations IQ has with the topic of procreation. Please go beyond the normal findings such as the inverse correlation between IQ and the number of offspring. Include in your thesis the rational between your porn size collection and IQ.

2. Please post a picture of the insides of your computer. Some members in GRRR suffer from OCD...

3. Explain the best way to tie up an 100m electric cord for easy deployment when needed. Using this same electic cord, explain how you will inflict maximum damage to anybody trying to steal your tags again.

4. List the first 10 games you've ever played for more than a 100 hours.

5. Assume your screen is capable of 256 color display, and has a resolution of 800 x 600, how many picutres / documents would you be able to generate? You do realise that several of those images will provide an accurate description of your death, in your handwriting, with a picture of you and your signature at the bottom... show your calculations.

6. Will you screw a dead chicken, explain your response.

That should do it for now...

1. All? Do i get a Doctorate in Grrr if Correct. I know the Common People dance and drink and screw because theres nothing else to do and this inevitably leads to more kids due to poor education not necessarily a lack of porn. High IQ people are generally more career orientated and wait to have kids so its too late to have 7 unless you want to be in people magazine. Is their really any need for a porn collection anymore with unlimited internet, its not like you watch a movie to the end anyway...

2. 505 now i see it needs dusting, thanks

3. On one of the roller thingys, whenever i tie one up by hand it always knots up. Beat them to death with the roller thingy or counter knife in BF4 (which may or may not suck)

4. What a question - Half Life, Counter Strike, BF: Desert Combat, Eve, C&C, Elite, Unreal Tournament, Skyrim, Trackmania, total war series. Must be a lot more cant think

5. lets see 600 x 800 = 480000 x 256! = A fucking lot

6. I'll go with No because a chicken doesnt have lips and i like to kiss while i'm screwing.

[kalgat]

4. The delete key
5. 13 to 48

But well done, at least you've tried ps2 :)

Gaming on a laptop? Is that even allowed in Grrr???

ASUS G73 while i'm "at work" getting a bit state of the ark now but still runs BF3 ok

[RussianElite.]

Kalgat... Question needs anwsering..

[kalgat]

Half Life was a good answer. Tell me this, which one of the three is a dickbag: TygerQB,Stu or Paul?
Atm Paul is winning by a Bell-end as Tyger and Stu have yet to throw their dicks in the bag

[RussianElite.]

Atm Paul is winning by a Bell-end as Tyger and Stu have yet to throw their dicks in the bag

What!? No.. they all n great bunch of guys. The Salt of the earth. The most pleasant bunch on mumble

[Paul]

Question: Why is everyone so obsessed with me in this clan? Why can’t they just leave me alone, I am actually a really nice guy

[kalgat]

What!? No.. they all n great bunch of guys. The Salt of the earth. The most pleasant bunch on mumble

Unfair i say, trick questions are not allowed then again i do not make the rules

[RussianElite.]

Unfair i say, trick questions are not allowed then again i do not make the rules

LOL, soon you'l know the truth. Soon...

[Skouperd]

2. 505 now i see it needs dusting, thanks

3. On one of the roller thingys, whenever i tie one up by hand it always knots up. Beat them to death with the roller thingy or counter knife in BF4 (which may or may not suck)

4. What a question - Half Life, Counter Strike, BF: Desert Combat, Eve, C&C, Elite, Unreal Tournament, Skyrim, Trackmania, total war series. Must be a lot more cant think

5. lets see 600 x 800 = 480000 x 256! = A fucking lot

6. I'll go with No because a chicken doesnt have lips and i like to kiss while i'm screwing.


2. Regarding point 2, not bad, I've seen a lot worse and the corsair power supply makes up for the lack of cable management... ;-)

3. Agreed, the roller things works nice, but I've recently started using the butterfly rope coil which is not too bad.

4. Trackmania, now you are talking my game! Which version, and what was your nick? You prefer SP or LP?

5. I assume the ! is meant as factorial calculation? If it is, then I have no idea what you will end up with using it in your formula but that formula is definately not the correct one! You wanna give it another bash?

6. That's as good an answer as any. A man with priorities... ;-)

[Stu]

Paul's height is six feet, he's an assistant at a butcher's shop, and wears size 9 shoes. What does he weigh?

[kalgat]

Paul's height is six feet, he's an assistant at a butcher's shop, and wears size 9 shoes. What does he weigh?

Less than he would if he worked in a pie shop

[kalgat]

4. Trackmania, now you are talking my game! Which version, and what was your nick? You prefer SP or LP?

5. I assume the ! is meant as factorial calculation? If it is, then I have no idea what you will end up with using it in your formula but that formula is definitely not the correct one! You wanna give it another bash?

4. TM Nations, i am and will always be kalgat! Was top 10 SA briefly prefer short tracks, my buddies Shnic and Nords still playing it to death. Found TM2 to be a bit buggy so havent played much and again laptop a bit too crap... that MSI Dragon edition is calling me

5. Bugger thought i had it, 256 raised to the 48000th power?

[s3xy_j0nny]

Welcome to the application process, Kalgat.

Question 1: 31st August; Pettis or Henderson? How?

Question 2: When you were young, what did you want to be when you grew up? If you could, would you rather do that than what you do now?

Question 3: What is the weirdest thing you have ever eaten?

Clan Research:
- what does Russian love?
- who is Hubreno?
- who is the uber nerd: leelo or slipperyduck?
- between IrishLuck and DirtyPora, who is the pitcher, and who is the catcher?
- who are the 2 Zimbo dictators, and after they founded grrr, who was the first successful applicant?
- whose head is shinier: Mark or Quentin?
- name the clan's two female members.
- name the clan's two ginger mingers.
- who is sexiest: Phatso, Dragonne, or BadAss?
- what does kyuubidemon drink?

Do your best with the clan research thing, I know there is a lot there.

[Skouperd]

Clan Research:
- what does Russian love?


Russian and Chips?

[BadA$$jack]

Welcome to the application process, Kalgat.

- who is sexiest: Phatso, Dragonne, or BadAss?

Do your best with the clan research thing, I know there is a lot there.

No research required, this is a no - brainer :p

[Stu]

No research required, this is a no - brainer :p

hahah - I think I just vomited in my mouth a little..

[kalgat]

Welcome to the application process, Kalgat.

Question 1: 31st August; Pettis or Henderson? How?

Question 2: When you were young, what did you want to be when you grew up? If you could, would you rather do that than what you do now?

Question 3: What is the weirdest thing you have ever eaten?


1. Henderson by Tap out, ultimate revenge for the "Showtime" kick

2. Seeing as were not fighting space battles at the edges of the galaxy then astronaut/adventurer seems to be out of the picture.

3. Haggis was pretty awful, i do enjoy black pudding when cooked right but the oddest was a piece of a candied scorpion.

Clan research to follow

[s3xy_j0nny]

1. Henderson by Tap out, ultimate revenge for the "Showtime" kick

2. Seeing as were not fighting space battles at the edges of the galaxy then astronaut/adventurer seems to be out of the picture.

3. Haggis was pretty awful, i do enjoy black pudding when cooked right but the oddest was a piece of a candied scorpion.

Clan research to follow

Answers to Q2 and Q3 are fine, but Q1? Seriously? I hope it's a picture perfect replay of the showtime kick, except this time it lands 100% flush and loosens Henderson's teeth. That guy is a butt hole.

[kalgat]

Clan Research:
- what does Russian love?
- who is Hubreno?
- who is the uber nerd: leelo or slipperyduck?
- between IrishLuck and DirtyPora, who is the pitcher, and who is the catcher?
- who are the 2 Zimbo dictators, and after they founded grrr, who was the first successful applicant?
- whose head is shinier: Mark or Quentin?
- name the clan's two female members.
- name the clan's two ginger mingers.
- who is sexiest: Phatso, Dragonne, or BadAss?
- what does kyuubidemon drink?

Do your best with the clan research thing, I know there is a lot there.

After extensive research i have come up with the following, some answers are educated guesses...

Clan Research:
- what does Russian love? Anal?
- who is Hubreno? Hubris
- who is the uber nerd: leelo or slipperyduck? They are one and the same
- between IrishLuck and DirtyPora, who is the pitcher, and who is the catcher? Does it really matter...
- who are the 2 Zimbo dictators, and after they founded grrr, who was the first successful applicant? Megageth and Yourself, gr@v1ty
- whose head is shinier: Mark or Quentin? Mark based on the fact that i know another Mark that has a shiny pip.
- name the clan's two female members. Niteshade and Onyx
- name the clan's two ginger mingers. Dryman and Flycatchr
- who is sexiest: Phatso, Dragonne, or BadAss? Badass believes its him and who am i to destroy the illusion
- what does kyuubidemon drink? Strawberry Milkshake

[SlipperyDuck]

W O W - that is impressive

[BigBadBarts]

W O W - that is impressive

Not really because he tip toed around the Pora & Irish question when we all clearly know that both love to "smoke a fatty", so the correct answer is they are multi-skilled and can play both the pitcher and the catcher...however, the rest of the answers were good, although I think Quentin has a shinier head and I would say Phatso is definitely sexier...come on man, he's a Greek god. ;-)

[Morphza]

W O W - that is impressive

I smell a stalker... :P

[Stu]

Good answers!

Write a short story ending with "...and that's why Paul is a douche!"

You may use as many expletives in your story as you would like.

[s3xy_j0nny]

After extensive research i have come up with the following, some answers are educated guesses...

Clan Research:
- what does Russian love? Anal?
- who is Hubreno? Hubris
- who is the uber nerd: leelo or slipperyduck? They are one and the same
- between IrishLuck and DirtyPora, who is the pitcher, and who is the catcher? Does it really matter...
- who are the 2 Zimbo dictators, and after they founded grrr, who was the first successful applicant? Megageth and Yourself, gr@v1ty
- whose head is shinier: Mark or Quentin? Mark based on the fact that i know another Mark that has a shiny pip.
- name the clan's two female members. Niteshade and Onyx
- name the clan's two ginger mingers. Dryman and Flycatchr
- who is sexiest: Phatso, Dragonne, or BadAss? Badass believes its him and who am i to destroy the illusion
- what does kyuubidemon drink? Strawberry Milkshake

Very impressive research, sir, I am in awe of your thoroughness.

2 minor corrections:
Russian loves cock (it's his favourite word in Mumble and also his staple diet.)
Phatso, Badass, and Dragonne are all equally sexy (10/10 on the hawtness scale.)

Given the accuracy of your responses I am prompted to ask whether you know someone in the clan, Mr McGhee... or are you a blast from the past with a new nick? How else did you find all this info? My spidey senses are tingling.

[kalgat]

Very impressive research, sir, I am in awe of your thoroughness.

2 minor corrections:
Russian loves cock (it's his favourite word in Mumble and also his staple diet.)
Phatso, Badass, and Dragonne are all equally sexy (10/10 on the hawtness scale.)

Given the accuracy of your responses I am prompted to ask whether you know someone in the clan, Mr McGhee... or are you a blast from the past with a new nick? How else did you find all this info? My spidey senses are tingling.

I dont think i know anyone, i attended the first 6 or 7 Mayhem Lans so i might recognise someone if they went to those many years ago and i was kalgat then too. As i said in the chatbox all the info was found on the interwebs!

[Phatso]

A bit late to the party here but:

1. M16A3 or AK and why?
2. What games are you DEFINITELY getting for the rest of 2013?
3. You mentioned you had a BF4 Alpha Key.
3.1 - How did you get it?
3.2 - What were your immediate thoughts?
3.3 - How does the game perform with high latency?
3.4 - Does the Alpha have Spectator mode?
3.5 - If yes to 3.4, can I haz your key plx?
4. What's your poison?
5. DO YOU EVEN LIFT BOET?

(my questions are noobish because I am a giant n00b)

[kalgat]

A bit late to the party here but:

1. M16A3 or AK and why?
2. What games are you DEFINITELY getting for the rest of 2013?
3. You mentioned you had a BF4 Alpha Key.
3.1 - How did you get it?
3.2 - What were your immediate thoughts?
3.3 - How does the game perform with high latency?
3.4 - Does the Alpha have Spectator mode?
3.5 - If yes to 3.4, can I haz your key plx?
4. What's your poison?
5. DO YOU EVEN LIFT BOET?

(my questions are noobish because all the good questions are taken)

1. M16A3 because i cant hit a barn door with the AK since it got nerfed
2. Anything cheapish in the Steam Sales plus Titanfall looks good already paid for BF4 and premium
3.1 Apparently i was selected at random
3.2 Why is everything white and this carbine is shit
3.3 Was pretty good most of the time
3.4 Nope, stigula didnt work either
3.5 Alpha finished long ago think it was more of a test of the MP code
4. It varies between Cruz Vodka, Richelieu 10 Year and Captain Morgan
5. Not unless you count lifting my arm at the bar

[Thor_23]

Also late to the party. Not sure if I am duplicating questions:

1. Who's mom in the clan is the HAWTEST?
2. What would be your best response if I asked you how my kids are doing? (provided you/me have any:p )
3. Why does phats want to know if everyone is:"even lifting"?
4. Think of a dutch nickname (like brakepad or fin-ice) with a punch line for j0nny

[kalgat]

Good answers!

Write a short story ending with "...and that's why Paul is a douche!"

You may use as many expletives in your story as you would like.

How about a limerick instead?

There was a wannabe Ninja named Stu
Who gave Kalgat a short story to do
But his creative thoughts they went whoosh
Just like his tags out there in the bush
And that is why Paul is a douche

[Irish_Luck28]

How about a limerick instead?

There was a wannabe Ninja named Stu
Who gave Kalgat a short story to do
But his creative thoughts they went whoosh
Just like his tags out there in the bush
And that is why Paul is a douche

lol, this is awesome man.

[J_Th4ng]

How about a limerick instead?

There was a wannabe Ninja named Stu
Who gave Kalgat a short story to do
But his creative thoughts they went whoosh
Just like his tags out there in the bush
And that is why Paul is a douche

Very nice, but know that Fly will be along soon to critique you limerick structure and rhyming...

[flycatchr]

Very nice, but know that Fly will be along soon to critique you limerick structure and rhyming...
mwaHAHAHAHAAHA

IF that is your first limerick then I wont be too harsh :)
just to mention that the 3rd and 4th lines are supposed to be shorter .......

[flycatchr]

a naked chap with very strange nick
tried real hard to write a limerick
failed so hard
what a tard
and he dont even have a big dick

and that's how its done kalgat :)
(6 minutes)

[Morphza]

a naked chap with very strange nick
tried real hard to write a limerick
failed so hard
what a tard
and he dont even have a big dick

and that's how its done kalgat :)
(6 minutes)

Do you have a little rappers dance to go with it?

[BadA$$jack]

Grrr's old man Fly
was not limerick shy
so kalgat
listen to that
cause thats not bad for a white guy

[J_Th4ng]

Grrr's old man Fly
was not limerick shy
so kalgat
listen to that
cause that not bad for a white guy

Must.Try.Harder

[kalgat]

a naked chap with very strange nick
tried real hard to write a limerick
failed so hard
what a tard
and he dont even have a big dick

and that's how its done kalgat :)
(6 minutes)

The master at work!

My biggest problem was finding the rhyme for Douche, i had swoosh, whoosh and Touche...

[Stu]

All appropriate word selections!

Questions:

What is the average velocity of a sparrow carrying a coconut?

[kalgat]

Also late to the party. Not sure if I am duplicating questions:

1. Who's mom in the clan is the HAWTEST?
2. What would be your best response if I asked you how my kids are doing? (provided you/me have any:p )
3. Why does phats want to know if everyone is:"even lifting"?
4. Think of a dutch nickname (like brakepad or fin-ice) with a punch line for j0nny

1. None, they are all sacred cows and besides i'm not into GILF's
2. Great now that i've trained them to walk upright
3. In case he needs to order more "natural" supplements from his dealer to keep up
4. Being English im absolutley fucking stumped on this one

[kalgat]

All appropriate word selections!

Questions:

What is the average velocity of a sparrow carrying a coconut?

African or European?

[BadA$$jack]

and besides i'm not into GILF's


explain!!!!

[J_Th4ng]

explain!!!!

Like that needs an explanation??? :puke:

[flycatchr]

The master at work!

My biggest problem was finding the rhyme for Douche, i had swoosh, whoosh and Touche...
gets my vote :)

how about bush :) :o

[Skouperd]

The master at work!

My biggest problem was finding the rhyme for Douche, i had swoosh, whoosh and Touche...

I thought Paul rhymes just fine....

[Megageth]

Assume you are trapped under a snow fall. Based on the questions asked so far, choose 1 GRRR clan member to eat yellow snow with. Throw in a few words of explanation/justification.

[kalgat]

Assume you are trapped under a snow fall. Based on the questions asked so far, choose 1 GRRR clan member to eat yellow snow with. Throw in a few words of explanation/justification.

I would have taken Paul but you all would all miss him so, instead it will be thor for his absolute bastard of a question about j0nny i would of course have to have an asparagus and cabbage vindaloo the night before to make the experience as memorable as possible

[s3xy_j0nny]

Asparagus and cabbage vindaloo! That gets my vote right there just for imagery.