BigBadBarts - The want

[BigBadBarts]

As quoted from a favourite movie of mine Next Friday !!

Uncle Elroy: [to Craig] You family, I love you, you welcome to anything in my house. But don't let me catch you in my refrigerator, don't let me catch you with yo finger in my Suga Bowl, You feel me knockin'.

Craig Jones: Yeah

BigBadBarts: [to GRRR] So why don't you let me in? :D

[BigBadBarts]

Little about myself guys, this is in my profile but you might not get a chance to read it so here it is:

Right, I'm a 38 year old ex-rugby player, that is just back from the UK, spent a decade there where I met my wife and had kids...been back in SA for 4 years now. Started in IT in the late 90's after my bouncing, dancing and ecstasy career fell threw and I fled to London. Never knew what gaming was until I took up Age of Empires (kinda dominated bitches at 2 v 2 for while, think we made 2nd on the world ladder - WOLOLO !!) and when the original COD's and MOH's came out I was hooked on FPS. Anyway, so yeah I've been there done that, taken enough drugs, roids included, to kill a horse, partied all over SA, backstreets of London and the shores of Ibiza...I'm a house junkie, who loves life, fast cars, fast woman (I collect porn - 3.9Tb to be exact) and in my spare time I love shooting 12 year old kids in the face with a BB gun on BF3, the rest is history.

I tried starting up my own clan TnA which was with the boys at work, dirtypora who works for me...yeah, he's my bitch and then Irish-Luck who is a mate of ours moved because we never had any set game times and really wanted to enjoy a squad and team environment. So when I saw they were part of GRRR and because I basically introduced them to BF3 I just want to get online with mates and enjoy gaming without being dominated by bvd always because I have a noob squad, whom I cant even communicate to I have therefore decided to apply with the GRRR squad, hopefully knowing dirtypora and Irish_Luck helps, so let me know guys.

[RussianElite.]

Wait...











What now?

[BigBadBarts]

We shoot some bitches?

[Morphza]

Knowing Irish and the Dirty one actually gives you a negative start! :)

[dirtypora]

Ahhh, not this guy!! give him hell gents!!! :punch:

[dirtypora]

lol!! Morphza good lastnite nite!!

[RussianElite.]

LOL!

Welcome man. The application process is +- 2 weeks long. You will be asked weird and wacky questions and how you answer them will determine if you make it or not.

Name a member thats going bald and would choose a pink milkshake over a brandy and coke at a gathering? You may use you internal sources.

[dirtypora]

Ahh Barts, tell me in no less than 40 words why irish is a wanker?

[Stu]

Welcome to the forum! What are views on consoles and console COD players? You may use Russian as a reference

[TygerBS]

Sup dude.

hope you not as much of a noob as irish and pora!

What kinda super power would you want if you could have one.
If you get tbagged in a game like battlefield, what is your first reaction?
Is it just coincidence that russian and retard start with the same letter, or is it by design?

[Skouperd]

Little about myself

As a rule of thumb... rugby players NEVER uses the term "little" to describe themselves... ever.



this is in my profile but you might not get a chance to read it so here it is:

you assume all members here can read... in that regard, please list all the members of GRRR who failed at least one year in school.



Right, I'm a 38 year old ex-rugby player,

What exactly do you mean by "ex-Rugby player", bear in mind that people like BadAss also played rugby, primary school I appreciate, but being an ex-rugby player tells me absolutely nothing about either your or BadAss current physical or mental ability. As such, please describe for me in no less than 50 words, why ex-rugby players should receive special treatment here.





Age of Empires (kinda dominated bitches at 2 v 2 for while, think we made 2nd on the world ladder - WOLOLO !!)

All these numbers makes me curious, 2 v 2, second place... explain to me why would some species, humans for instance, have two sexes if there are animals that is quite capable to reproduce with only a single sex? Please feel free to use big words here since we've already lost Paul, BadAss and Russian at this stage of the conversation.





taken enough drugs, to kill a horse

That ain't funny.



I collect porn - 3.9Tb to be exact


I am speachless! Most species will have sex for the sole purpose of reproduction, however some species (like humans for instance) will also have it purely for enjoyment. Name other mammal species that will also have sex as a form of enjoyment rather than purely for reproduction purposes.

[BigBadBarts]

Knowing Irish and the Dirty one actually gives you a negative start! :)

Morphza I was afraid of that but because of my natural ability to win you and the rest of the squad over I felt it would only be fair on the others to start with a negative score. ;-)

[BigBadBarts]

LOL!

Welcome man. The application process is +- 2 weeks long. You will be asked weird and wacky questions and how you answer them will determine if you make it or not.

Name a member thats going bald and would choose a pink milkshake over a brandy and coke at a gathering? You may use you internal sources.

Thanks Russian, willing to wait for a few weeks more before I can squad with a mates and begin enjoying BF3 again.

According to my sources Paul is balding but I've seen that he's not alone Quentin looks like he's got a wide middle path too.

[BigBadBarts]

Ahh Barts, tell me in no less than 40 words why Irish is a wanker?

Irish is a wanker because he buys cheap ass shnarf from car guards and doesn't go home and simply heads back to work in his dirty shit from the day before....oh yeah, and cos he's scared of tequilla the pussy.

[BigBadBarts]

Welcome to the forum! What are views on consoles and console COD players? You may use Russian as a reference

Consoles are for racing and sports games end of...if you playing FPS on a consoles you're probably banging your maid too. I long for the day that they allow cross platform gaming I have some personal scores to settle with my mates back in the UK, bunch of Xbox junkies...

I have to be honest though, GT5 on my PS3 is insane and I enjoy a little TW too but for the rest, I think we've played Buzz when the missus has the girls over and that is it...for the rest its PC baby.

[BigBadBarts]

[QUOTE=TygerBS;19927]Sup dude.

hope you not as much of a noob as irish and pora!

What kinda super power would you want if you could have one.

Sup Tyger,

I wasnt but I see the boys have developed some skills while I've been roaming the maps alone, that being said when we have played together its easy to dominate them...my issue with these two tonsils is they're probably higher than Bob Marley when they play, bunch of skuif heads. :)

Invisibilty - I'm not worried about strength or anything else can you imagine the endless opportunities being invisible...ah man, touching up bitches while they sleep, watching them change, robbing banks...

Get the bitches name and spend all game trying to knife him the cheeky fucker...then I'm gonna track him down, find his Mom and tbag her. Only kidding...I'm not that crazy. (yeah right)

I knew a Russian retard once...wait fuck me, aren't all Russians retards though? Tell me you've been watching those mal Russian car crash vids on YouTube though...that shit fucks me up, those niggas are doing U-turns on highways at a 100 and plenty, madness.

[Irish_Luck28]

Irish is a wanker because he buys cheap ass shnarf from car guards and doesn't go home and simply heads back to work in his dirty shit from the day before....oh yeah, and cos he's scared of tequilla the pussy.
Ladies and gentleman and Russian, if there ever was a classic example of why my nick is ironic, it stands here written in this quoted text. Find a clan of like minded bf3 players that let you join them = awesome. Have Barts join the clan after you join = Irish_Luck. :)

[RussianElite.]

Ladies and gentleman and Russian, if there ever was a classic example of why my nick is ironic, it stands here written in this quoted text. Find a clan of like minded bf3 players that let you join them = awesome. Have Barts join the clan after you join = Irish_Luck. :)

and Russian? LOL, because fuck you Irish!

[dirtypora]

You shout your whore mouth irish!!Good for nothing mofo

[BigBadBarts]

As a rule of thumb... rugby players NEVER uses the term "little" to describe themselves... ever.

yeah, but its like that shit the yanks do...they name the local Yeti in town Tiny...besides I wasn't actually describing myself I was merely giving you a few inside facts on me....having said that though, I'm not tall or anything but I'm pretty wide.


you assume all members here can read... in that regard, please list all the members of GRRR who failed at least one year in school.

based on your comment above regarding the "little" I can see you managed to slip another year in...definitely Irish and dirtypora and based on the constant abuse I've seen most certainly Paul and Stu....sexy Johnny? Yeah, fuck it why not...think he was too busy working the corridors for tuck money to study.


What exactly do you mean by "ex-Rugby player", bear in mind that people like BadAss also played rugby, primary school I appreciate, but being an ex-rugby player tells me absolutely nothing about either your or BadAss current physical or mental ability. As such, please describe for me in no less than 50 words, why ex-rugby players should receive special treatment here.

No listen, my current physical state is appauling...ex-rugby player because I spent 10 years playing in the 2nd division in London, while abusing my body and mind with copious amounts of recreational drugs and as such I have had ops on both knees, shoulders are wrecked and I found out last week my nose has been broken for the past 7 - 10 years, go figure. We shouldn't receive special attention at all, infact we've had so much pussy thrown at us and nights out partying and having fun, the ex-rugby players should be spending our free time brown nosing geeks online into liking us so we can be members of a squad that if our rugby playing teams mates ever found out we'd be banned from the bars at the local rugby club let alone be allowed to watch Super 15 and compete in SuperBru.




All these numbers makes me curious, 2 v 2, second place... explain to me why would some species, humans for instance, have two sexes if there are animals that is quite capable to reproduce with only a single sex? Please feel free to use big words here since we've already lost Paul, BadAss and Russian at this stage of the conversation.

Honestly, that is a mystery to me because given half the chance I'd love to have my own pussy so I could pleasure myself twice...



That ain't funny.

You're right its not funny at all, I happen to take my drugs very seriously and I never mix shnarf with pills and alcohol only 2 at a time but LSD I keep for nature cos that shit gets real....



I am speachless! Most species will have sex for the sole purpose of reproduction, however some species (like humans for instance) will also have it purely for enjoyment. Name other mammal species that will also have sex as a form of enjoyment rather than purely for reproduction purposes.

You spelt speechless wrong I know you definitely spent more time at school than the rest of us...I'm willing to open my mediacentre up to you though if you like, what you into Skouperd...you like that animal shit hey? Hmmm, dont have any bestiality or under age shit but anything else you want I got.
Only other animal I can think of that would have sex for enjoyment would be a pig...cos that nigga's climax last for 30 minuntes so you better believe they eating and fucking as for mammals though I dont have a clue.

[BigBadBarts]

You shout your whore mouth irish!!Good for nothing mofo

Shout your whore mouth...FML, when are you going to learn to talk dirty? (excuse the pun)

[Irish_Luck28]

lol. I'm just joking Russian.
Barts, can you tell me where this quote comes from? It should be right up your alley... :)

“Turn the goddam music up! My heart feels like an alligator!”

[BigBadBarts]

lol. I'm just joking Russian.
Barts, can you tell me where this quote comes from? It should be right up your alley... :)

“Turn the goddam music up! My heart feels like an alligator!”

Fear and loathing in Las Vegas - what a movie...

[Phatso]

Hey dude, welcome to the gauntlet.

1. Seriously though, do you really take stuff on a weekly basis? Are you trolling? I know we have a pretty open minded attitude towards the green, but you sound like you stepped out of trainspotting.. Should we be worried about this?
2. What high-school did you go to?
3. Have you ever realised you said something you shouldn't have? What was it?
4. Favourite FPS of all time?
5. What is your drink of choice?

[BigBadBarts]

Hey dude, welcome to the gauntlet.

1. Seriously though, do you really take stuff on a weekly basis? Are you trolling? I know we have a pretty open minded attitude towards the green, but you sound like you stepped out of trainspotting.. Should we be worried about this?
2. What high-school did you go to?
3. Have you ever realised you said something you shouldn't have? What was it?
4. Favourite FPS of all time?
5. What is your drink of choice?

Hey bud, thanks for the opportunity to apply.

1. Nah, I was heavily involved years ago before I left for the UK, got myself in some deep water with some nasty people and fled. But those days are gone, I've been married for 10 years already got 2 kids so it was time to hang up the ummm...gloves? I can honestly I've tried them all, H only in the form of powder digested through pills so never injected it...while I can relate alot to Trainspotting I've never been that far down the road...possibly a road parralel and not as long though. LOL !! Definitely nothing to worry about, I speak my mind openly and dont mind people knowing what I did and where I have come from, it should be used an example of human will and desire to make yourself better and not use crap excuses like, I come from a broken home, I have an ingrown toe nail...yada yada yada. (but thanks for the concern bud)

2. Ah man, this one is gonna count against me I know it...I matriculated from Mondeor High School in 1992, why am I telling you the date so you can see it was before all the kak started there. So, yes I am from the south of Jozi and for my sins I still live there.

3. I might have wanted to show the biggest baddest bouncer at 3:30 (serious club in Point road Durbs) pictures of me banging his sister when he refused me entrance but I cant remember, I just know I woke up the next morning with a very sore face and no money in my pockets.

4. I have to say BF3, like I mentioned cut my teeth on the original MOH and loved the game, was mad about COD in the mid 00's but for sheer realism and multiplayer enjoyment BF3 is streaks ahead in my opinion.

5. Captein spannie seile, captein sy is myne...has to be without a shadow of a doubt Captain Morgan and Coke, beer glass, only ever a double with loads of ice - otherwise known as a rum cocktail in Sandton or a Cappuccino in Brakpan.

[Stu]

"In the quiet words of the mother virgin come again?" - Name the movie

How would you describe your FPS play style. You may use Irish and the filthypora as negative reference points.

[BadA$$jack]

Ready for this nuthouse???

[BigBadBarts]

"In the quiet words of the mother virgin come again?" - Name the movie

How would you describe your FPS play style. You may use Irish and the filthypora as negative reference points.

Only the best movie Brad Pitt ever played in, thats Brick Top from Snatch...I still love his "I dont care if he's Muhammed-I'm-Hard-Bruce Lee, you cant change figters"

If I have to be blatantly honest here, and this might count against me...I hate camping, I'm very gungho and if anyones going to jump into a nest of vipers its gonna be me but I want to know that when I do I have the right guys watching my back and while I soften the enemy up, my crew will rock up and clean their pipes and then hopefully rev me. Fuck Irish and Pora those bitches need to check themselves before they wreck themselves. :tongue:

[BigBadBarts]

Ready for this nuthouse???

100 cement...PUT ME IN COACH I'M READY !!

Truth be told, the little session last night was the most fun I've had in BF3 in months, I was literally ready to pack it in but being welcomed by you boys and hearing the good crack between you all was exactly what I'm looking for.

[Skouperd]

My questions for you is the following:

1. Why the macho attitude? I am referring to your emphasis on being an ex-rugby player, being beaten senseless by a bouncer, taking all kinds of stuff, (enough to kill a horse if I recall correctly), having a massive porn collections. Surely those are not the most memorable attributes you have? My question to you is since you've shared with us the bad things, what good deeds have you done lately to anybody appart from your family?

2. You've mentioned you are in IT if I recall correctly, can you elaborate a bit on that. Most people playing computer games will be proficient in IT to some degree or another. Are you more into networking, hardware, programming, sales. Tell us more about your interest and skills.

3. Most people in GRRR is able to contribute towards the clan one way or another, what will you be bringing to the party.

4. Several members of GRRR have various degrees of OCD. Please take some pictures of the inside of your computer case and post them for further scrutiny.

5. What is your views on the unsecured credit bubble that is brewing in South Africa.

Finally, I appreciate the macho attitude you are trying to portray, but do you think you can these answers in a serious manner without swearing or insulting anybody?

[BigBadBarts]

My questions for you is the following:

1. Why the macho attitude? I am referring to your emphasis on being an ex-rugby player, being beaten senseless by a bouncer, taking all kinds of stuff, (enough to kill a horse if I recall correctly), having a massive porn collections. Surely those are not the most memorable attributes you have? My question to you is since you've shared with us the bad things, what good deeds have you done lately to anybody appart from your family?

2. You've mentioned you are in IT if I recall correctly, can you elaborate a bit on that. Most people playing computer games will be proficient in IT to some degree or another. Are you more into networking, hardware, programming, sales. Tell us more about your interest and skills.

3. Most people in GRRR is able to contribute towards the clan one way or another, what will you be bringing to the party.

4. Several members of GRRR have various degrees of OCD. Please take some pictures of the inside of your computer case and post them for further scrutiny.

5. What is your views on the unsecured credit bubble that is brewing in South Africa.

Finally, I appreciate the macho attitude you are trying to portray, but do you think you can these answers in a serious manner without swearing or insulting anybody?

1. Firstly, let me apologise for upsetting you I was under the impression the crazy questions and responses were all tongue in cheek so sorry if I've offended you. However, that being said I am only telling you who I am and what I've done, in no way am I trying to portray a macho attitude at all, infact being beaten by bouncers and taking drugs is not macho at all and I certainly hope that when I die those are not the attributes I'll be remembered for. That being said if you're looking to find out how I treat people I think Dean (dirtypora) who works for me will testify to my loyalty and support for friends, family and certainly work colleagues. I dont go out of my way to point out my good deeds because I feel what I do daily I do for my family, friends and work colleagues, so if you dont mind I'm not going give you an example of what I've done so it looks like I'm fishing for compliments but just know that I live for my kids, my wife and family (my mother who lost all her money through bad investments, now lives with us - maybe you see this as a good deed I just view it as my family duty). I am extremely close to my half brothers that live in Durban and if any of my mates called me at 03H00 because their car broke down, I'd be the first to phone the AA...only kidding, I'd get in the car and help out. I guess I think you've read me wrong because I am a joker and take the piss alot, but it is who I am and I'm sorry if it offends you...my wife did say now everyone will enjoy my crude sense of humour or even me for that matter.

2. IT, wow this was something I never saw myself doing but when I landed in the UK, I was managing a pub in Highbury near the old Arsenal football stadium and a plumber mate of mine convinced me to do my NT4 MCSE because of the boom in the UK in the late 90's. I came home and did my MCSE at New Horizons in Durbs, 'n all and heading back to the UK where I got my 1st job as a helpdesk analyst for Viglen who made PC's, I think they are still owned by Sir Alan Sugar (what a prize chop by the way)...anyway, I apparently have natural leadership abilities and I was soon a department head and while I was never the most technical guy, I knew a little about a lot so decided managing specialists would be the way to go...this way I could relay what I wanted or knew about and have the very technical engineers or specialist carry out the task and I guess that is now how I'm in my position now. I do miss the technical stuff though and even though I built and designed our current MPLS, hosted, virtual environment I spend most of my days in meetings, doing budgets, fighting with suppliers and constantly being diplomatic and tied up in red tape.

3. I'm never gonna be the best player, although I'm competitive as hell, but I will bring a positive never say die attitude, I live for every moment and I think I manage to drive and inspire guys, maybe Dean can shed some light on this but its certainly an annoying factor for him, that I am always so happy and positive.

4. Man I know how that feels, being a Virgo isn't easy I have plenty issue with this...I'll take few pics this weekend and post. Anyone else have issues with toiler rolls running over and not under or the ice cream tub? I think I have issues, well my wife thinks I have, I think I'm normal. ;-)

5. Honestly, I have no views on the credit issues in SA, I lost everything in the UK during the recession and quite honestly its not hit SA as bad. I think the whole worlds on borrowed time and money to be honest and its a matter of time before the bubble bursts for us all, but please believe me SA is nowhere near as bad as the crumble in the UK in 2008. I left with my British Passport in hand had to sign liquidation for 220 000 pounds and came back to SA at 35 with nothing to my name but a bad haircut and my old 1996 VR6, which I still drive now.

Once again, sorry if you're misinterpreted my openness about my past as a desire to impress with a macho attitude, its certainly not the case...what you see is what you get with me and I wear my heart on my sleeve. Hope the answers are to your liking and serious enough and sorry if I insulted you or anyone else but I was reading previous posts and threads and I did get the impression you all kinda take the piss out of one another which to be honest I thoroughly enjoy. Let me know if there is anything else you need bud and I'll get those PC pics to you shortly.

[Skouperd]

Thanks Brad, you've got my vote... ;-)

We do take the piss out of the people here, make no mistakes about that, but sometimes it is also nice to know who you are in real life. Regarding OCD... oh yes... ;-)

[TygerBS]

Well done Brad for responding to Perdjties insane OCD questions.

[Skouperd]

Well done Brad for responding to Perdjties insane OCD questions.
Tyger, he likes porn.... I like to screw with peoples minds.... :-)

which reminds me Brad, check out the classified section there is a car for sale. Talkin of mind games. Brad here is a slighty more "serious" question. Will you screw a dead chicken. Substantiate your answer from a moral point of view, religious point of view and sexuality point of view.

[RussianElite.]

Will you screw a dead chicken. Substantiate your answer from a moral point of view, religious point of view and sexuality point of view.

Dafuq did I just read?

[TygerBS]

Who doesn't like porn?

[Irish_Luck28]

Well done Brad for responding to Perdjties insane OCD questions.

lol, who is Brad? U eating the devil's lettuce at work okes?

[s3xy_j0nny]

Bart the rugby player, what position did you play?

[BigBadBarts]

Bart the rugby player, what position did you play?

Left wing bud, but as I got older and slower I moved closer to the scrum...strange that hey? ;-)

[BigBadBarts]

Who doesn't like porn?

BOOM !! I have to be honest though, while I'm trolling torrents if it says MILF or Cougar anywhere in the title that shit is getting downloaded ASAP.

[BigBadBarts]

Thanks Brad, you've got my vote... ;-)

We do take the piss out of the people here, make no mistakes about that, but sometimes it is also nice to know who you are in real life. Regarding OCD... oh yes... ;-)

Sweet, thanks bud who is Brad?

Furry muff...happy to satisfy your curiosity.

[s3xy_j0nny]

Left wing bud, but as I got older and slower I moved closer to the scrum...strange that hey? ;-)

Ahhh, the easy side, where all the passes are right-handed and easier to catch... interesting...

I went the opposite way - started front row, then moved to flank then to inside centre - was a big fella in school, then slimmed down and got faster when I played club. I always loved open-side flank for the endless possibilities it provided for interfering with opposition scrum halves.

[BigBadBarts]

Well done Brad for responding to Perdjties insane OCD questions.

Thanks Tyger, but I'm not sure who this Brad oke is...? LOL !! ;-)

[BigBadBarts]

Tyger, he likes porn.... I like to screw with peoples minds.... :-)

which reminds me Brad, check out the classified section there is a car for sale. Talkin of mind games. Brad here is a slighty more "serious" question. Will you screw a dead chicken. Substantiate your answer from a moral point of view, religious point of view and sexuality point of view.

Well there was this one time at band camp....OH HELL NO !!

Dead or alive animals, not my game at all...morally I would probably knob all most any woman but animals I draw the line besides, I'd probably end up taking it to Nando's and getting it cooked and ready for dirtypora to eat once I'd given it the old stokkie...you know he loves that shit my little pora mate. Religiously, ah boys truth to be told not very religious hey...was forced to go to church as a kid so no religious views as such and then sexually well...I guess I'm more a butt and breast man, pun certainly intended, but feathers on the umtondo are just not my game...guess I'd have to pluck it before I fuck it. Eish, nee man....I'm out hey, hoenders, honde, ek stiek lieweste net tannies.

I am looking to sell the VR6 though, so if anyone is keen...imported 2 door 1996 Purple VR6 with loads of extra's. ;-)

[Stu]

Awesome answers!

Barts.

1. What is the uncanny valley?
2. Do you have a bailout bag? If so what are its contents? Do you believe its necessary to have a bailout bag?

[Skouperd]

So it was only me that started as a big guy, and grown bigger as I grew older...?

[BigBadBarts]

Ahhh, the easy side, where all the passes are right-handed and easier to catch... interesting...

I went the opposite way - started front row, then moved to flank then to inside centre - was a big fella in school, then slimmed down and got faster when I played club. I always loved open-side flank for the endless possibilities it provided for interfering with opposition scrum halves.

Bwahahahahaha, furry muff...taking the pass was certainly easier but passing was more difficult, not that I think I passed much. Apparently the nickname "Bam Bam" was due to my New Zealand side step...basically, take the ball, transfer to left for protection, then take first step Bam (112kg left wing, not quite Jonah, Julian or Hosea but at 5ft10 its a lot of "extra" weight) followed by right hand in face, on head or in chest...hence the 2nd Bam.

Funny you mention flank hey, my last game at the ripe old age of 32 I played flank in the rain and cold in Uxbridge only to break four ribs saving a try and having the entire scrum fall on me while our pack got molested in the set pieces. Nice possie for an old winger cos you can still rely on pace but I wasn't clued up on the dark arts of forwards as funny as it was to watch other scrumhalves lose the minds being interfered with. ;-)

[BigBadBarts]

Awesome answers!

Barts.

1. What is the uncanny valley?
2. Do you have a bailout bag? If so what are its contents? Do you believe its necessary to have a bailout bag?

Cheers Stu,

1. Oh shit man, I read about this a while back...isn't it something to do with the way humans are turned off replicas of themselves? Like a human robot if it looks too natural it freaks us out or something. Well that or its the deep dark place my missus wont go...no matter how much I wash it.
2. Funny enough no hey but seeing as though I've been arrested 3 times since I got back from the UK, you'd think I would have invested in one by now...great idea. Okay, jokes aside though, a bailout bag is that ammo bag that troops carry innit? If I did need one, I've just pack it with rounds, grenades and lube.

[TygerBS]

Fucking Brad.. or Barts... its all the same bullshit to me :p hahaha

[Skouperd]

Sorry guys, if yuo are a sensitive reader, please stop reading now....

Me asking the question on the chicken, reminded me of a VERY VERY old post I've done when I was younger and had some massive arguments about religion with a bunch of Muslems, Christians and I don't know who else on another forum I belonged too. There view was basically that unless humanity had religion we would all lack sound moral values (amongst other things). I obviously disagreed with them and asked them about the chicken question and tell me why they would not screw a dead chicken. There is obviously nothing in any religious text about that (I know I've read most religious text there are), yet obviously the concensus is that nobody will screw a dead chicken. Yet, when one starts thinking about the reasons why, there are virtually no real reasons on why it is wrong. Reminded me of what a british politician said when they've debated the concept of beastility, her response was "My dear esteemed colleques, on the topic of bestiality, I'd rather be screwed than be eaten." which concluded that session.

Any event, just because the forum was considered an intellectual forum (Mensa South Africa), that did not prevent this topic to really get out of hand with flame wars and mud slinging flying around shortly after it began. A member found the following picture online and attributed it to me:

500

to which I wrote the following response: (Sensitive readers should realy stop reading now!)

-----------------------
Re: Pic of Skoups and Chicken
Posted By:
skouperddell
Mon Mar 6, 2006 10:08 am

> I was extremely surprised to find a pic of Skoups with Chicken on
the
> net.

Yes, the technique I was using here, is called the chicken-to-body
technique, where the larger portion of the chicken's body is pressed
against yours. However, this was still in my younger years, and
since then, and with the valuable information of Gansdraai, the
technique for maximum penetration has since been perfected.

The secret is obviously to maximise your grip, and I found that the
best way to do that, is while the feathers are still attached. You
would then grab the chicken underneath the wings. This technique
will enable you to either turn the chicken on her back, or on her
stomach, depending on whether you want to look deep into her hazzle
eyes or not. This is normally dependant on what is showing on TV.

The beauty of having feathers attached while the stuffing process
begins, is that, depending on the level of action you get into, all
feathers will be removed when the deed is done.

A warning though, you have to be careful of the wing-grabbing
technique, as that could pose some dangers when the action gets too
hot, and the wings actually gets detached. This is a great idea for
deboning of said wings, but not very enjoyable as those wing bones
can be sharp if you are not careful.

As soon as the deed is done, you obviously want to maintain the
stuffing for maximum taste effect. In order to achieve this, I found
the best way to do that is to take an ice-cube, as you pull out, you
plug the chicken with the ice cube. This then tends to have a dual
purpose, it would keep the inside moist while you are cooking the
chicken and obviously melt away when the heat gets too high.

I found the best way to serve the said chicken is with a bit of
garlic, salt, and a little bit of green pepper. The green pepper
tends to bring out the taste to its full effect..

Adios
Skouperd

--------------------
as you can see, that was posted a very very long time ago... when I was still much younger and inexperienced... but that kind of brought the discussion to a whole new level of "yuck".... ;-)

[BigBadBarts]

Fucking Brad.. or Barts... its all the same bullshit to me :p hahaha

You can call me Susan if you like boet, just gimme your vote... :D

[BigBadBarts]

Skouperd, now that is some funny shit...I think you and I have a very similar warped sense of humour, love your work.

[Stu]

Bailout bag is a bag generally containing basic survival gear, water purification pills, survival kit etc. This can include ammo and ordinance lube if you planning on doing it on the beach.... :|

Its generally used in the event of an emergency and you need to leave town / city as quickly as possible. In my case I live 15 - 20 Km away from a nuclear reactor. So my bailout bag and plans take a meltdown scenario into account among other scenarios.

- If you found out about a dealer operating in your area from their home and you had intel that there was a major cash stash. Would you make a plan to hit them for it?

[BigBadBarts]

Bailout bag is a bag generally containing basic survival gear, water purification pills, survival kit etc. This can include ammo and ordinance lube if you planning on doing it on the beach.... :|

Its generally used in the event of an emergency and you need to leave town / city as quickly as possible. In my case I live 15 - 20 Km away from a nuclear reactor. So my bailout bag and plans take a meltdown scenario into account among other scenarios.

- If you found out about a dealer operating in your area from their home and you had intel that there was a major cash stash. Would you make a plan to hit them for it?

A nuclear reactor?? Listen about lunch on Sunday, somethings come up....can we just Skype instead?

Not a chance boet...I left this country because of malaka's like that, they can have their dwelms money, not worth the hassle. 15 years ago, yes I'd be first through the door but I have a gorgeous family now....hmmm, hold on...okay, no still no chance.

[Phatso]

malaka's

ELA RE!! Pou eise?

(@dirtypora, the reason I asked you once how you feel about Greeks.. I am Greek. F*cking dirty para. Go back to your fruit n veg :p).

[BigBadBarts]

ELA RE!! Pou eise?

(@dirtypora, the reason I asked you once how you feel about Greeks.. I am Greek. F*cking dirty para. Go back to your fruit n veg :p).

Phatso, I had to phone my granny for that one boet...hope I said it right but she reckons you're saying, "Come on !! Where are you?"
Anyway, as you have guessed I have Greek blood but dont ask me to speak a word of it china, my cousins Costa and Lambro were the only two that went to a Greek school for the rest of us we stuck to using a few swear words. ;-)

[flycatchr]

do you know what a hairy blender is?
how old are your kids and what are their ages?

[BigBadBarts]

do you know what a hairy blender is?
how old are your kids and what are their ages?

Bwahahahahaha, this hairy blender really means the world to you hey? I've been doing my research and seen you asking about, so I hope I'm right in saying its when you bump up the dpi on your mouse so its ultra sensitive and then spin rapidly over your kill so that hair on your gooch rubs over their face...nothing like a tea bag. ;-)

Senna (daughter - yes named after the late great legend himself) is 7 and Callum (son) is 5, however their ages vary depending on the time of year we are in because Senna has a birthday in January while Callum's is in June, so they their ages constantly vary.

[flycatchr]

yarrrrrr, used to be that google couldnt even come up with an answer - SIGH
LOL good one Bart.

How did your wife feel about naiming your daughter after a paint
(jokes - you still like F1? )
would you describe the hairy blender to your mom?

[BigBadBarts]

yarrrrrr, used to be that google couldnt even come up with an answer - SIGH
LOL good one Bart.

How did your wife feel about naiming your daughter after a paint
(jokes - you still like F1? )
would you describe the hairy blender to your mom?

She actually loved the idea of calling our daughter Senna, he is a family hero, so much so my boet who still races has the identical helmet to Senna and then just named his son Ayrton.

Dude, I have to tell you my old lady and I dont hide shit from one another just last night I came home with a clip of an oke with two cocks and I showed her, my missus was so embarassed but then she knows by now I dont hide anything from my folks or family. You have to see this video...FML !! And the best part is that this is actually something that really happens 1 in 5 million men are born with 2 penises...ah man, can you imagine? I'd hit the nearest knock shop and make the chicks pay me to pomp.

Sorry I got side tracked there...but yeah, I'd tell my mother.

[flycatchr]

LOL
my 10 year old knows, but my wife doesn't :0

[dirtypora]

ELA RE!! Pou eise?

(@dirtypora, the reason I asked you once how you feel about Greeks.. I am Greek. F*cking dirty para. Go back to your fruit n veg :p).


Ahh sorry to here the bad news Phatso!! Unlucky on being a greek :sorry: